Frostbite Dimitri's Point of View
by Mallory83
Summary: Pretty self explanitory...Frostbite in Dimitri's POV
1. Chapter 1

FROSTBITE- Demitri's Point of View

Chapter 1

I was standing next to the Honda Pilot checking the time. Rose was late again. She was always late, so it was not surprise. That's why I always told her to meet me twenty minutes before the actual time she needed to meet me, that way she was actually on time. I looked up just in time to see her jogging over.  
"I know, I know", she said. "Sorry I'm late". I gave her a stern look to show my disappointment, but inside I was laughing. If she only knew.  
Rose stood in front of me looking deep in thought. Her dark hair was pulled back into a messy pony and she looked as though she had just rolled out of bed. I couldn't help thinking she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Just then the snow started to fall turning her into a Rose angel.  
"Who else is going?" she asked, pulling me from my babbling mind. I shrugged "just you and me" hoping to pull off like it was not big deal. Roses mood changed and it looked as though I had told her she had just won the lottery.  
"How far is it?"  
"Five hours" I told her wishing it was five days.  
"Oh" was all she said.

The road was dim and covered in snow, but it didn't matter for my dehampir eyes. I could see just fine. The car was quiet except for the light music I was listening to. Rose sat next to me starring out the window deep in thought. I knew she must be nervous . We were headed to visit a guardian that would give her the most important test of her life, The qualifier. It was a test usually given junior year to determine if a novice was committed enough to stay on the path to becoming a guardian. Usually, the test was given during Junior year, but Rose happened to be on "vacation" at that time.  
"Don't they usually come to the academy?" she asked. "I mean, I'm all for the field trip, but why are we going to them?"  
"Actually, you are just going to a him, not a them." I told her. "Since this is a special case and he's doing us a favor, we're the ones making the trip."  
"Who is he?"  
"Arthur Schoenberg."  
Rose jumped a little in her seat and stared at me with wide eyes.  
"What?" she squeaked  
I knew she knew who he was. They had to study about his exploits as part of their curriculum.  
"Wasn't....wasn't there anyone else available?" She asked in a small voice.  
I had to hide a smile. "You'll be fine. Besides if Art approves of you, that's a great recommendation to have on your record."  
The car once again fell silent. Rose sat next to me biting her lip thinking. I could almost see the wheels turning in her head.  
"You'll be fine," I told her again. "The good in your record outweighs the bad." Rose smiled over at me. Just that one action melted my heart turning me into butter. I didn't understand how this girl could cause such reactions within me. My heart was beating a mile a minute just from a smile. I knew it was wrong, but I was in love with Rose Hathaway. It's a really good thing I have such good control, because she could never know.  
"Thanks coach," she teased snuggling back into her seat.  
"I'm hear to help," I said. I kept my mind focused on the music playing and relaxed a little myself. This was nice just the two of us in the car. I could handle it.  
"You know what would really help?" she asked not looking at me.  
"Hmm?"  
"If you turned off this crap music and put on something on that came out after the Berlin wall went down."  
I did have to laugh at that. "Your worst class is history, yet somehow you know everything about Eastern Europe."  
"Hey, gotta have material for my jokes, comrade."  
I really hated when she called me comrade. But that was my nickname from her. If she didn't call me Dimitri, it was comrade and I had gotten used to it. Still smiling I changed the radio to a country station knowing well that she would hate it just as much.  
"Hey! This isn't what I had in mind", she said.  
I was almost about to laugh again. "Pick, It's one or the other."  
She sighed. "Go back to the 1980's stuff."

Arthur and the family he protect (the Badicas), lived in a small town along I-90, not far from Billings. Rose had convinced me to stop for food at a 24 hour diner so between that and stopping for gas it was around noon when we arrived. The house was built in a rambler styler, all one level with gray-stained wood siding and big bay windows- tinted to block sunlight of course. Pretty much what I expected from a member of the royal family.  
As we got out of the car I could feel my stomach turn with anticipation. I was actually nervous for Rose. I knew she was going to do fine, but still, I was nervous none the less. We jumped out of the pilot sinking into an inch of snow and headed towards the house. Rose slipped on the ice covered sidewalk and I instantly reached out to steady her. It brought back the memory of the night we met, when I had caught her from a similar fall.  
"You okay?" I asked her releasing my hold.  
"Yeah," she said, glaring at the sidewalk. I could tell she was probably using some pretty fowl language inside her mind.  
"Haven't these people ever heard of salt?"  
I came to a stop in the middle of the walkway and tensed ready for anything that might come at me. The untouched surroundings nipping at me. Something was not right. Slowly, I approached the front door and studied it. It wasn't open, but it wasn't shut all the way either. It looked as though someone had left in a hurry. I jiggled the loose handle and it felt as though it had been broken. My heart started beating faster. Something was defiantly not right here. I looked at Rose and my heart sunk. She should'nt see this. She is not ready. I knew what I would find when I walked into the house.  
" Rose, go wait in the car." I told her  
"But why-"  
"GO." I cut her off filling that single word with enough force to put a little fear into her. I just hoped she would stay in the car.  
I waited until she had quietly shut the door to go in. When I stepped inside, the house was cold. I could feel a slight breeze coming from the other room. That's when I saw them. There were bodies everywhere. Their throats had been torn out, and they had been left here to rot. If we hadn't come today, who knows how long it would have taken for someone to find them.

I walked towards the back of the house not touching anything, but making sure it was safe and trying to mentally take notes of the surrounding horror. A few minutes later I heard a door sliding open. I grabbed my stake out of its sheath and quietly made my way to the other room.  
Rose stood their, her eyes wide taking in the horror. I could tell she was about to scream. I put my hand over her mouth to quiet it. She struggled for a few moments and then became still.  
"Why," I asked, "don't you ever listen? You'd be dead if they were still here."  
I removed my hand from her mouth and she stood their staring at me with wide sad eyes. I didn't want her to see this. She was so young. It broke my heart.  
"It's daytime," she whispered. Bad things don't happen in the day" I could hear the desperation in her voice.  
"Bad things happen anytime," I told her. "And this didn't happen during the day. It probably happened a couple of nights ago."  
Rose turned and took another look at the bodies. Her eyes scanned the room and came to stop at one in particular.  
"Arthur Schoenberg", I told her.  
"He's dead" she said as though it wasn't perfectly obvious. "How can he be dead? How could a strigoi kill Arthur Schoenberg?"  
I didn't answer her. Instead I moved my hand easily to the stake that she held. She flinched a little, but released her grip and handed it over. "Where, did you get this?" I asked.  
"Outside, in the ground."  
I held it up studying it. "It broke the ward."  
Rose was taking it all in. She looked as though she was fighting with herself. She must have been thinking the same thing I was. Because she repeated my thoughts back to me. " Strigoi cant touch stakes, and no moroi or dehampir would do it." My heart sunk as I said the next thing to her, because this would change everything forever. "A human might."  
She met my eyes. She looked so sad and scared. "humans don't help strigoi-". She stopped in the middle of her statement. She looked like she was about to lose her lunch right then and their. The realization hit her at that moment, that no one else would have helped a strigoi. It had to be a human. She was fighting an internal war, trying to understand what she was feeling. What was going on around her and how things were forever going to change. "This changes everything, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2-

I made just one phone call and then came the waiting game for my backup. It would take a few hours so I decided to look around a little more. After a while Rose went to wait out in the car. She was so scared. I felt bad and wanted to help her and hold her and tell her it was all okay. I wanted to run my hand through her hair and kiss all the bad away, but I knew I couldn't. It was all part of the job, a job in which she would have to become used to. After I examined the house a little more, I went and sat in the car with Rose. We didn't said anything while we waited. I just let her be with her thoughts. She had to do this on her own. She was strong and I knew she could handle it, but God it was hard to sit and watch the person you loved most in the world struggle like this.  
When the first of the guardians showed up I sighed and looked over at her. "You should see how this is done." I knew she didn't want to see how it was done. I knew she wanted nothing more than to take the first set of wheels she could find and get the hell out of here. But I also knew she would suck it up and go with me. Sometimes her strength amazed even me. A few of the other guardians asked me what a novice was doing here. When I explained to them about the qualifier none of them questioned it further. Rose followed the workings of one guardian in particular. A female named Tamara. She studied all the bodies, but one caught her attention. Her face turned sad for just a moment. " Oh, Arthur", she said. "I never thought I'd see this day. He was my mentor." Rose looked shocked, as though she couldn't understand how Tamara was so calm. She would one day learn this type of control too. Well, I hoped she would.  
We went on analyzing the scene. We were kneeling next to the body of the small child when Rose spoke for the first time. "How could they do that? How could they kill him" We all turned to look at her. All of us feeling a little bad that she had to witness this so young. "The same way they kill everyone else. He's mortal, just like the rest of us." Tamara said.  
"Yeah, but he's...you know, Arthur Schoenbert."  
"You tell us, Rose," I said. "You've seen the house. Tell us how they did it."  
She stood there looking at us. I knew she knew the answer. She was smart and strong and beautiful and I wanted to show my colleges just how good she really was. Some of the other guardians wondered about her because of the little "trip" she had taken Lissa on a few years back.  
"There were four points of entry, which means at least four Strigoi. There were seven Moroi... and three guardians. Too many kills. Four Strigoi couldn't have taken down that many. Six probably could if they went for the guardians first and caught them by surprise. The family would have been to panicked to fight back." She said. Pride beamed through me. I pushed her a little further. "And how did they catch the guardians by surprise?"  
She hesitate, but only for a moment. "Because the wards were broken. In households without wards, there'd probably be a guardian walking the yard at night. But they wouldn't have done that here." Right again. I was so proud of her, but I simply nodded at her and went back to the investigation.  
Rose followed us to the back of the house. We stopped at the bathroom where there was another body. Being in the back of the house meant it was warmer so the body was starting to smell. It wasn't rancid, but it wasn't sweet like Rose smelled. As the other looked at the scene, Rose turned away. I knew she had already seen it and didn't want to look again. I was okay with that. As we started to walk to another room, something caught Rose's eye. She turned to read what was written on the mirror. Poor, poor Badicas. So few left. One royal family nearly gone. Others to follow. Rose gasped. I could see hate and anger rolling over her like heat waves on a hot summer day. Her face hardened into a scowl as we moved from room to room.  
When it was time to go, Rose slammed the car door so hard I was afraid the whole car would fall apart. "What's wrong?" I asked glancing at her with a bit of surprise.  
"Are you serious?" she screamed. " How can you ask that? You were there. You saw that."  
"I did," I told her. "But I'm not taking it out on the car."  
She sat in her seat eyes screaming with such hate and anger. It broke my heart. " I hate them. I hate them all! I wish I'd been there. I would have ripped their throats out!" She was screaming and I was a bit taken back. Rose was not like this. Impulsive, yes, sarcastic, yes...but stupid, ever registered on the radar. She was smart and this was not what I expected from her. " You really think that's true?" I asked her. "You think you could have done better than Arthur Schoenberg after seeing what the Strigoi did in there/. After seeing what Natalie did to you?"  
She took a few breaths to calm herself. She closed her eyes and after a few moment she opened them again. "I'm sorry", she said.  
"It's okay." I told her reaching over and covering her hand with mine. "It's been a long day for all of us." I wanted to hold her hand like that forever. I wanted to pull her onto my lap and kiss the anger. My sweet Rose. I hated seeing her so upset. I wish I would show her how I really felt, but it would be wrong. I am her mentor and she is my student. There could never be anything between us. If I just kept telling myself that over and over, then one day maybe, I would believe it.

We got back to St. Vladimir's around midnight. And of course everyone already knew what had gone on. No surprise, nothing stayed quiet long in our world. The school day had just ended so I ordered Rose to go to her room and get some sleep. She looked as though she was about to fall over where she stood. She told me she would, but I had a feeling I knew where she was headed as soon as I was out of sight. She would go find Lissa and make sure she was okay.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The night seemed to drag one. Sleep wouldn't come to me. I kept seeing Roza's face flashing in my mind. Shock and horror. How did I allow myself to fall in love with someone I know I can never have? It was still early when I decided to get up and head to the gym. I thought a good workout was what I needed. I threw on a pair of sweats and a T-shirt and headed out.  
I was on my fifth mile of ten when Alberta, the head of the guardians at the academy caught up with me. "Guardian Belikov, I wanted to tell you the news myself. The morning after Christmas we will be heading to a Moroi ski lodge. It has been decided it is the safest place for everyone to reunite with each other for the holidays. You are going to need to be on extra guard with Vasalisa. She is vulnerable."  
"Of course, I will meet with you later to come up with some strategies," I told her. "The princess will be fine. Between myself and Rose and of course all of the guardians that will be there she will be perfectly safe."  
"Yes, I believe she will." With that Alberta headed off to the offices. For the rest of my workout I thought of nothing but what I needed to do to protect the princess. She was my first priority...she had to be. The trip was just what I needed to think of something else other than Rose.  
When I finished my workout I headed out to the main gym area. Rose was standing with Mason and man was he flirting. I couldn't believe I was jealous. I gave him a stern look, letting him know it was time to go. He saw it, said something to Rose, bowed and left the gym.  
Rose walked over and I led her into a smaller training room that I had stocked with dummies. They were actually quite life like. I pulled my stake out of it's sheath and held it. Rose looked over at me and started smiling. "Sweet", she said. I leaned against the wall and flipped the stake into the air. It flipped a couple of times and I caught it by the hilt. Her mouth dropped open. "Please tell me I get to learn how to do that today," she said. I withheld a smile and laughed internally. "You'll be lucky if I let you hold it today," I said. I could tell she wanted to say something, and I'm sure it was about how she had already held one, but she cut herself off and tossed her backpack on the floor. She looked sexy in her loose pants and hoodie. Her long dark hair was tied back into a pony and it took everything I had not to act like a school boy again and go play with it.  
She looked over at me with a playful smile. "You want me to tell you how they work and why I should always be cautions around them," she said. I stopped flipping the stake and gave her my best astonished look. She laughed and said "Come on, you don't think I know how you work by now? We've been doing this for almost three months. You always make me talk safety and responsibility before I can do anything fun."  
"I see," I said. "Well, I guess you've got it all figured out. By all means, go on with the lesson. I'll just wait over here until you need me again." I tucked the stake back into it's sheath and got comfortable against the wall. She started telling me everything she knew about silver stakes. I was only half listening to her. Mostly, I was watching her and thinking that it seemed as though I had known her for years, not just three months. How could she have grown into such an important person in my life in such a short time?  
"-but to kill them, it has to be trough the hear," she said.  
I nodded. "Will they hurt you?" I asked, so she would think I was paying attention. She shook her head and went on. After a moment she stopped and was staring out the window. I know she was thinking about the events of yesterday. When she noticed me looking at her she dove back into her lesson.  
About ten minutes before she had to leave for her first class, I took out my stake. She got a little excited, but I wasn't done with the lessons yet. As much as I loved Rose, I knew I had to be strict with her when it came to her combat training. I had to make her strong. I had to make her the best, because I could never risk not having her. Even if we were never together, a world without Rose Hathaway was not a world I wanted to be apart of. "Where are you going to put this?" I asked.  
"In the heart," she replied. I could tell she was a little irritated. "I already told you that like a Hundreds times. Can I have it now?"  
I smiled. She was so cute when she was eager about something. " Where's the heart?"  
She gave me a typical teenager eye roll. She was quite dramatic when she pointed to the left side of the chest. I shook my head. "That's not where the heart is."  
"Sure it is. People put their hands over their hearts when they say the Pledge of Allegiance or sind the national anthem."  
I just looked at her, waiting for her to figure it out. I was sure she knew the answer, but it was locked away in the back of her mind. She thought for a few more moments and tapped the center of the dummy's chest. "Is it here?"  
"I don't know, is it?"  
"That's what I'm asking you!" she said. I found it funny when she got irritated. That's usually when the sassy Rose came out to play.  
"You shouldn't have to ask me. Don't you all have to take physiology?" I asked  
"Yeah. Junior year. I was on "vacation" remember? Can I touch it now?"  
I knew I had hit a sore spot. I flipped my stake and let it disappear into it's sheath. "I want you to tell me where the heart is the next time we meet. Exactly where. And I want to know what's in the way of it too."  
Rose tried to give me a fierce glare, but it just looked like she was a two year old sticking her tongue out at me and screaming I don't like you. I tried not to smile, but it really was funny. She could tell I found it amusing. So she turned around and walked out.  
After she left I went into the office to talk to Alberta about a plan for the ski trip. When I walked in there were a few guardians standing around talking. One of whom's presence I knew was not going to go over very well with one of the students. Standing there talking with Alberta, was Janine Hathaway. Roses mom.  
"Guardian Belikov, it is so good to see you again," Janine said to me. " I hear you have taken on my daughter. I thank you for that and hope she has not been to much trouble."  
"Hello Guardian Hathaway, it is good to see you as well, and no Rose has been an exceptional student. She is very talented."  
Surprise crossed the Janine's face. It broke my heart that she had no idea just how good Rose was. It broke my heart that she didn't know Rose period. I thought I would have to show her just how good she was. "You should come by one of our practices if you have the time."  
I could tell Janine was taken back. She smiled politely. "I would love to. Just let me know when a good time is and I will be there. But I must leave now, I am speaking in Stan's next class."  
Oh crap, I thought. Rose is in that class. This is not good. "Please allow me to show you the way. I would love to sit in and listen, if you don't mind."

"Of course not, Guardian Belikov. It would be an honor for you to join me. Please lead the way." I smiled and led her twords Stan's class, silently praying that Rose would not burn the school to the ground when she saw her mother.


	4. Chapter 4

I would just like to thank everyone for all the comments. I have been having so much fun trying to get into Dimitri's head. I would also like you to know..and I know you already do know, that I do know own VA i have no right to it and this is just for fun. But I am glad you are enjoying it and I look forward to more reviews.

~Mal

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CHAPTER 4-

Janine and I made it to Stan's class just moments before the students arrived. Two other guardians were already standing at the front of the room chatting about what they would be speaking about. Janine thanked me and went to converse with them. I walked to the back of the class room and made myself comfortable, waiting for the blow up. I hoped I had taught Rose enough control over the last few months that she would just grit her teeth and deal with it, but I knew even she had her limits.

The students all started filing into class when the bell rang. Rose walked in with Mason and I again got that gut feeling of jealousy. Rose smiled at him and took her seat not even noticing who was in the front of the class...4...3...2...1, I counted in my head. She tensed and I knew she had finally seen our visitor. I breathed a sigh of relief that she didn't get up and throw a desk at Janine the moment she saw her. The only way I could tell she was not please the rigid set of her shoulders. I could see her take a few deep breaths and relax, a little. Stan introduced the three guests and explained that they were here to tell real life stories from the field. "OK", I thought. "So far so good. No fires, no chairs being thrown, no cursing. I think we will be okay."

The first speaker started telling his story. I could tell Rose was begining to relax a little he went on with his story. He was telling about a time when the youngest son of the family he was guarding wondered off in a public place that Strigoi were lurking in. He used his hands to talk. I think the kids really got into it because i could hear gasps and some "wows" coming from the kids. Of course the story ended well and the boy was found safe and sound.

The second speakers story was just as exciting to the kids. He told of a time when he wasnt even on duty and visiting a friend. As he was leaving he saw a Strigoi lurking around. He used a lot of hand gestures too. Of course he killed the bad guy and the day was saved. I was getting a little bored. The only reason I was hear, was to make sure Rose didn't kill anyone...mainly, her mother. As Janine stepped forward to tell her story Rose tensed again. "OK Belikov, she will be fine. You have been teaching her well. She is NOT going to do anything stupid," I kept thinking to myself.

Janine, launched into her story...actually, it was more of an epic tale. Her charge and his wife were at a ball put on by another prominent royal family. There were strigoi laying in wait. A handful of Moroi were taken from the party. She took out the first one by herself and then alarmed the others. She and the other guardians took off on a rescue mission that ended up with all the Moroi safe and all the Strigoi dead. Of course, she had killed most of them herself and in every way you could kill a Strigoi, beheading, burning and staking. While she told her story, the room was completely silent. You could hear a mouse walk across the floor. I was even impressed with her tale. Janine was a very talented guardian.

When she was finished, nearly every hand in the class went up. Everyone asked questions about weather she was scared, or about her techniques. I could tell Rose was getting more and more agitated. She tensed every time her mother answered a question. After a few minutes, she raised her hand and waited. It took a while, but her mother finally called on her. Janine truly looked a little shocked to see Rose sitting in class. Did she really not notice her sitting there this whole time?

"So, Guardian Hathaway," she began. "Why didnt you guys just secure the place?"

"oh crap, here we go" I thought.

Janine frowned a little. Maybe she knew Rose better than i thought. "What do you mean?" she asked.

Rose slouched a little putting on a casual air about her. "I dint know. It seems to me like you guys messed up. why didn't you scope out the place and make sure it was clear of Strigoi in the first place? Seems like you could have saved yourself a lot of trouble."

"crap crap crap," I thought. "Rose stop, dont say anything more." I stood at the back of the class trying to keep my face neutral.

Everyone turned to look at Rose. Janine stood at the front of the class silent. I am pretty sure she was trying to keep from walking over and smacking Rose. Finally she said, "If we hadn't gone through all that 'trouble', there'd be seven more Strigoi walking the world, and those other captured Moroi would be dead or turned by now."

Rose shrugged, "yeah, yeah, I get how you guys saved the day and all that, but I'm going back to the principles here. I mean, this is a threory class, right?" She looked at Stan, who was staring daggers at her. I could tell he was ready to kick her out of class again at any moment. " So I just want to figure out what went wrong in the beginning," she continued.

The only way I could tell Janine was not please was by the set of her mouth. She had just the slightest of hint of a frown. "It's not that simple," she replied. "The venue had an extremely complex layout. We went through it initially and found nothing. It's believed the Strigoi came in after the festivities had started- or that there might have been passages and hidden rooms we hadn't been away of." The class ooh'ed and ahh'ed over the thought of hidden rooms and secret passages.

"So, what your saying," Rose went on, " is that you guys either failed to detect them during your first sweep, or they broke through the 'security' you set up during the party. Seems like someone messed up either way."

Crap, she did not just go there. Janine's jaw clenched. She was pissed. "We did the best we could with the unusual situation. I can see how someone at your level might not be able to grasp the intricacies of what I'm describing, but once you've actually learned enough to go beyond theory, you'll see how different it is when you're actually out there and lives are in your hands."

"No doubt," Rose agreed. "Who am I to question your methods? I mean, whatever gets you the molnija marks, right?"

"Miss Hathaway, please take your things and go wait outside for the remainder of class," Stan barked. Rose stared at him. "Are you serious? Since when is there anything wrong with asking questions?" she retorted.

"Your attitude is what's wrong." He pointed at the door. "Go."

I swear the room got even quieter than when Janine was telling her tale. Rose held her head up, gathered her things and headed for the door. I stayed at the back of the class and followed her with my eyes. She looked at me only for a second before heading out of the room.

Rose was one of the most beautiful and Strong women i had ever met, but sometimes she really showed her age. I was rarely disappointed with her, but today I was. I knew i would have to talk to her at our next practice. And i also knew that she was not going to like me for it one bit.


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, So again i would like to thank everyone who reads this. I am not a great writer by any means, but i do have fun! That's what counts right? Anyways, if you would like more please leave me a review. Once again, i own nothing...Richelle Mead is the awesome genius who owns everything about VA! Thanks Richelle for the awesome world your created!

REVIEW PLEASE!!!!

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Chapter 5-

After the scene in Stan's class, I avoided Rose's mother. She may only be five feet one inch, but she was scary as hell. I was afraid she would yell at me for not teaching Rose more control. I actually was proud that no blood was shed in that class, but I was still none the less disappointed with how she handled herself.

When it was time for practice, Rose ran in. She punched the dummy to the left but mostly center of its chest. "There," she said. "The heart is there, and the sternum and the ribs are in the way. Can I have the stake now?" She crossed her arms in a triumphant way and smiled. I nodded at her, really, she should have known this. "And how do you get through the sternum and the ribs?" I asked her. She sighed. I could tell she wasn't in the mood to play guessing games, so for the majority of practice I went over just that and showed her several techniques that would afford the quickest kills.

I finally offered her the stake she stared at me in disbelief. "You're giving it to me?" she said. I had to hold back a laugh. It was not like Rose to hold back on this type of opportunity. "I can't believe you're holding back. I figured you would have taken it and run by now," I told her.

"Aren't you always teaching me to hold back?" she asked.

"Not on everything," I replied.

"But on _some _things."

I completely got what she meant, but didn't acknowledge that I picked up on it. I simply replied, "of course. It's like everything else. Balance. Know which things to run forward with, and which things to leave alone." I put a heavy emphasis on the last statement, hoping she would get what I was going for. My eyes met Roses for just a brief moment and a rush went through my body. I was so in love with this girl in front of me, but like I had said…some things you just have to know when to leave it alone, and this, was defiantly one of those things.

Rose sighed, reached out and curled her fingers around the hilt of the stake. She studied it making it a part of her. She was a natural. Her eyes gleamed. This is what she had been waiting for her whole life. I was glad I was the one who was able to allow her the first opportunity. She looked up at me. "What should I do first?" she said. I smiled inside glad that she didn't go nuts and attack the dummies right away. I honed in on the basic, showing her how to hold it properly and how to move with it. She was attentive and followed my every direction. How could I stay mad at her? She was amazing in everything she did. Rose was the most talented novice I had ever met.

I finally let her attack the dummies on her own. I could tell she found it harder than she expected. I guided her through ever step and corrected every error. Rose was the best. She needed to be thought the best. "Slide up through the ribs," I told her. "It will be easier since you are shorter than most of your attackers. Plus, you can slide long the lower ribs edge."

When practice finally ended, I took the stake back. "Good, very, good." I nodded my approval at her. She looked at me a little surprised.

"Really?" she asked.

"You've been doing like you've been doing it for years," I told her. Rose smiled. It was the smile that turned my heart into butter and I felt a chill run through my body. I loved that smile. As we neared the door, Rose turned towards one of the dummies. It has short, red curly hair. Her face turned into a scowl. "Can I stake that one next time?" she asked.

I picked up my coat and put in on. Turning to her, I looked at the dummy. "I don't think that would be very healthy," I told her.

"It would be better than actually doing it to her," she grumbled at me as she put her backpack on.

"Violence is not that answer to your problems," I told her. "She's the one with the problem," she glowered. "And I thought the whole point of my education was that violence _is the answer." _I sighed. "Only to those who bring it to you first. You're mother isn't assaulting you. You two are just too much alike, that's all," I told her.

Rose stopped walking. She got a look on her face, like I had just told her vampires weren't real and it was all in her imagination. "I'm not anything like her," she said. "I mean…we kind of have the same eyes, but a lot taller. And my hair is completely different." She pointed to her pony like it should be something I was already aware of. And I was. I loved her hair, but that was beside the point. "I'm not talking about you appearances and you know it," I told her. She looked away from. I knew she knew what I was talking about and just didn't want to admit it. She was so stubborn sometimes.

"You think I'm jealous?" she asked.

"Are you?" I said eying her. "If so, what are you jealous of exactly?" When she looked back at me I could tell she was hurting. I could tell that she felt her mom had done a lousy job at being a mom and from what I knew, she really had.

"I don't know," she said. "Maybe I'm jealous of her reputation. Maybe I'm jealous because she put more time into her reputation than into me. I don't know."

I looked at her, a little saddened. It wasn't very often that Rose put her feelings out like this. "You don't think what she did was great?" I asked her.

"Yes, no, I don't know. It just sounded like such a… I don't know…like she was bragging. Like she did it for the glory." She grimaced. "For the marks." I knew this wasn't true, but I also knew, Rose truly believed that. I thought for a moment then asked, "You think facing down Strigoi is worth a few marks? I thought you had learned something from the Badica house."

Rose frowned. "That's not what I –"I cut her off before she could finish what she was saying. "Come on."

Rose stopped walking again. "What?" She asked

We had been heading to her dorms, but I nodded in the opposite side of campus. There was something she needed to see. Something I hoped would make her look at things a little differently. "I want to show you something."

"What is it?" She asked.

"That not all marks are badges of honor."


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, so this chapter was a little harder for me to write for some reason. But hey, I did it. I hope you enjoy it. Oh and i only got one review for the last chap...sniff...snifff...so PLEASE REVIEW!!!! **

**Also, I dont own VA or any of the charectors. The genius behind it is the lovely Richelle Mead! Thanks Richell for the great world you have created!**

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Chapter Six-

The snow crunched under our feet as I led rose from the schools boundaries into the surrounding woods. I was hoping that our visit to Tasha might make her think twice about badges of honor. I saw the cabin appear ahead of us. "What is that?" asked Rose.

"Old watch post," I told her. "Guardians used to live on the edge of campus and keep watch for Strigoi."

"Why don't they anymore?"

"We don't have enough guardians to staff it. Besides, Moroi have warded campus with enough protective power that most don't think it's necessary to have actual people on guard."

As we rounded the corner I smiled at the sight ahead of us. There was Lissa - the Dragomir princess, Christian and Tasha all skating on a frozen pond. The princess looked a little clumsy, but Christian was holding her up. "Rose!" Lissa said smiling. Christian looked like we were really not welcome, but didn't say anything. "Thanks for the invite to the party," Rose said with a hint of jealousy.

"I figured you were busy," she said. "And this is secret anyway. We aren't supposed to be here." I could tell Lissa was getting a thrill out of breaking the rules. I didn't have the heart to tell her that they wouldn't really get into much trouble for being out here, so I just let her have her fun. Christian skated up next to Lissa and Tasha followed.

"You bringing party crashers, Dimka?" Tasha said smiling. I laughed. "It's impossible to keep Rose away from places she shouldn't be. She always finds them eventually." I looked over at Rose grinning. She shot me one of her famous Rose Hathaway glares and turned her attention back to Tasha. I could tell she was trying to figure her out.

Tasha turned towards Rose extending her had. "Tasha Ozera." Rose opened her mouth when she got a good look at her face. Two scars were carved into the left cheek. She quickly gained her composure and took her hand. Tasha smiled. "I've heard a lot about you Rose." Well crap, Christian is dead I thought. And the look Rose just gave him pretty much sealed that fate. "Don't worry," Tasha told her. "It was all good."

"No, it wasn't," Christian countered. What the hell was up with this kid? He really must have a death wish. Rose was doing much better on her control, but it's still not quite there yet. Tasha shook her head. "Honestly, I don't know where he got such horrible social skills. He didn't learn them from me. "

"What are you guys doing out here," Rose asked.

Tasha smiled kindly. "I wanted to spend some time with these two." A small frown cursed her lips. "But I don't really like hanging around the school itself. They aren't always hospitable. .." Rose looked confused. I knew exactly what she was thinking, but things were different with the Ozeras. When a member of a royal family decides to turn Strigoi by choice, kind of spells disaster for the rest of the family. Since Christians parents turned by choice, they were all kind of outcasts. Everyone was afraid the rest of them would turn at any moment.

I looked over at Rose as she realized why. "Because of what happened?" she asked a little embarrassed. Tasha shrugged. "That's the way it is." I could tell it made her sad, but she was putting on a good face for the kids. She really was something else. "But let's not stand out here, not when we can build a fire inside," she said rubbing her hands together.

Rose looked over at the pond. I could tell she really wanted to stay out and go skating, but she smiled and headed inside with the rest of us. The cabin was small. It had a little bed in the corner, a small kitchen area, a few chairs, and a fire place. I soon got a nice fire going and we all huddled around it. Tasha brought out a bag of marshmallow that we cooked over the flames. Tasha and I fell into a familiar friendship. Our conversations were light and fun. We talked a lot about some funny things from the past, like the time when she got pissed at another royal and pushed him into the fountain at a party. I couldn't stop laughing.

Christian and Lissa were also talking. Rose was just sitting there watching the rest of us. She had a small smile on her face and I could tell she was thinking things over. She was beautiful in the light of the fire. I wanted to go over and run my fingers through her hair. I wanted to kiss her lips and lay in the bed next to her. There were so many things I wanted to do with her, but she was my student and I knew it would never happen. Rose looked over at me and her smile broadened. I smiled and nodded turning my attention back to Tasha.

After a few minutes Rose spoke up. "So are you coming on the ski trip?" she asked. Tasha nodded trying to cover a yawn. She really looked tired. "I haven't been skiing in ages. No time. Been saving all my vacation for this." Rose looked surprised at this. "Vacation?" she asked. "Do you have…a job?"

"Sadly, yes," Tasha said. I knew it wasn't sad. Tasha loved her job. "I teach martial arts classes." The look on Roses face made me laugh. It was priceless. A lot of royals didn't work at all, and those who did, usually work in investments or something to further their fortunes.

"What do you think, Rose?" Christian said. He seemed extremely amused by Roses surprised reaction to this. "Think you could take her?"

"Hard to say," Rose said.

Tasha grinned. "You're being modest. I've seen what you guys can do. This is just a hobby I picked up."

I laughed at that. Tasha was pretty kick ass herself. "Now you're the one being moistest," I told her. "You could teach half the classes around here."

"Not likely," she said. "It'd be pretty embarrassing to be beaten up by a bunch of teenagers."

"I don't think that'd happen," I told her. "I seem to remember you doing some damage to Neil Szelsky." Tasha rolled her eyes at me. "Throwing my drink in his face wasn't actually damage- unless you consider the damage it did to his suit. And we all know how he is about his cloths." We both laughed at that. The man really did have quite an obsession over his cloths. I had no idea why. He didn't even have good taste in them. I mean, I'm not the best dressed person in the world, but I could do better.

"Did you start learning to fight before or after that happened to your face?" Rose said.

"ROSE!" Lissa hissed. Tasha didn't seem upset by the question. Nor did Christian for that matter. He was usually pretty sensitive to things about that.

Tasha looked at rose thoughtfully. "After," she told her. I could tell this subject made her sad. I cut Rose a 'time to stop now' look, but she didn't seem to notice. "How much do you know?" She looked over at Christian.

"The basics." Tasha nodded at Rose, her eyes taking her back to the attacks. "I knew…I knew what Lucas and Moira had become, but that still didn't prepare me. Mentally, physically or emotionally. I think if I had to live through it again, I still wouldn't be ready. But after that night, I looked at myself-figuratively, and realized how defenseless I was. I'd spent my whole life expecting guardians to protect me and take care of me. And that's not to say guardians aren't capable. Like I said, you guys could probably take me in a fight. But they, Lucas and Moira- cut down our two guardians before we even knew what was happening. I stalled them from taking Christian, but just barely. If the others hadn't shown up, I'd be dead and he'd-"

Tasha stopped for a moment. I could tell she was trying to hold it together. She was such a strong women. "I decided I didn't want to die that way," she said. "Not without putting up a real fight and doing everything I could to protect myself and those I love. So I learned all sorts of self-defense. And after a while, I didn't, uh, fit in so well with high society around here. So I moved to Minneapolis and made a living teaching others."

I looked over at Rose and could see the wheels of thought turning in her head. She was figuring out what I had said about not all marks being a badge of honor. I really hoped this story would help her with how she looked at life.

Silence fell over the cabin. Everyone was lost in thought after the story. It had kind of brought everyone's mood down a few notches, but Tasha being the person she is, could always lighten the mood. We spent the rest of the evening laughing and reminiscing and telling the kids stories of some of our adventures. We soon had the kids laughing so hard, tears were streaming down their faces. When Tasha finally looked at her watch she gasped. "Where's the best place a girl can go shopping around here?"

Lissa and Rose looked at each other. "Missoula," they said in unison. God those two really did share a brain, or maybe it was just a girl thing. I had no clue, and I was not about to get into that subject. Tasha sighed. "That's a couple hours away, but if I leave soon, I can probably still get in some time before the stores close. I'm hopelessly behind in Christmas shopping.

Rose let out an envious groan. "I'd kill to go shopping," she said.

"Me too," said Lissa.

Rose gave me a pleading look. "Maybe we could sneak along…"

"No," I told her immediately.

Tasha yawned. "I'll have to grab some coffee, so I don't sleep on the drive in."

"Cant one of your guardians drive you?" Rose asked.

Tasha shook her head. "Don't have any." Rose frowned. "You don't have any guardians?"

"Nope."

Rose shot up out of her seat. She was pissed. "But that's impossible! You're royal," she shouted. "You should have at least one. Two, really."

"The Ozeras aren't exactly first in line when guardians get assigned," said Christian. I could tell this pissed him off as much as it did Rose. "Ever since…my parents died…there's been kind of a shortage."

I could see Roses anger flaring up. I rolled my eyes. "But that's not fair," Rose yelled. "They can't punish you for what your parents did."

"It's not punishment Rose," Tasha said. "It's just a rearranging of priorities."

"Their leaving you defenseless," Rose yelled. "You can't go out there by yourself!"

Tasha smiled. "I'm not defenseless Rose. I have told you that. And if I really wanted a guardian, I could make a nuisance of myself, but it's a lot of hassle. I'm fine for now." I looked over at her. "You want me to go with you?"

"And keep you up all night?" Tasha shook her head. "I wouldn't do that to you, Dimka."

"He doesn't mind," Rose said. Pretty enthusiastically, I might say. I was kind of amused by this and I really didn't mind so I didn't say anything.

Tasha hesitated for a moment. "All right. But we should probably go soon," she said.

Our party finally dispersed, Moroi going one way and Rose and I in another. "So, what do you think of her?" I asked Rose.

"I like her. She's cool," She said. "And I get what you mean about the marks."

"Oh," I said.

Rose nodded, as she carefully watched her footing. Even when the paths were salted and shoveled, they could still have icy spots.

"She didn't do it for the glory. She did it because she had to. Just like…just like my mom did. The marks don't matter. Molnijas or scars."

"You're a fast learner." I told her. I could tell she liked when I approved of her.

"Why does she call you Dimka?" Rose asked. I laughed. It's a nickname for Dimitri," I told her. I actually hated it, and really hoped that she would not start using in on me.

"That doesn't make any sense," she said. "It doesn't sound anything like Dimitri. You should be called, I don't know, Dimi or something."

I laughed again. "That's not how it works in Russian."

Rose crinkled her face. "Russian is weird."

"So is English," I told her.

She gave me a sly look. "If you'd teach me to swear in Russian, I might have a new appreciation for it."

"You swear too much already," I told her.

"I just want to express myself." She said with the utmost confidence.

"Oh Roza," I sighed. She really was wonderful. Even when she was acting immature and irrationally, I couldn't help but love her. She really was perfect for me. She understood things better than people twice her age and grasped what being a guardian really meant.

"You know, there something funny about Tasha's scars," she said.

"What's that?"

"The scars…they mess up her face," she began. "I mean, it's obvious she used to be really pretty. But even with the scars now…I don't know. She's pretty in a different way. It's like…like they're part of her. They complete her."

I didn't say anything for a long time. What she was saying was true. I knew Rose was smart, but this was not something I expected from her. I was so proud of her, I couldn't even begin to try and put it into words. Rose looked at me waiting for me to say something…anything. "You're a really fast learner Roza," was all I could say. We walked the rest of the way back to the dorms in silence, just enjoying being together.

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**hmmm...things are getting a little cozy here with Rose and Dimitri.....wonder what's going through Dimitri's head right about now. Oh, and see that pretty button at the bottom of the page with green writing on it. Yeah, you're supposed to push that and tell me what you think. That way new chapters will appear within the next 48 hours...if not, they might not show up! ***Evil laugh*


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, I had a ton of fun writing this chapter because well, this is not a chapter from the book and so it's all mine. I really hope i get some feedback on it. Please read and Review. **

**Also, I do not own VA or it's charectors. The awesome genius behind its makings is the wonderful Richelle Mead. Thank you Richelle for the fantastic world you have made for us!**

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Chapter seven-

I left Rose at her dorm and headed towards to parking lot. I knew I had a problem and things were getting complicated. My feelings for Rose kept getting deeper. Every time I looked at her, I would get lost in her big brown eyes. Her smile would melt my heart, and her laugh could make even my worst days bright. She was becoming my everything and I couldn't let that happen. I had to protect the Moroi. They come first.

Tasha was already waiting for me when I arrived. She gave me a smile and slid into the passenger seat. "Ready," I asked as I slid into the driver seat. "Ready as I'm ever going to be," she said smiling. Tasha had a beautiful smile. She had long black hair that fell to the side of her face covering her scars. Her blue eyes were smoldering. She could be the one. The one to take me away from Rose and help me forget her. We had been friends for years. This could work.

"Dimka, are you alright?" Tasha asked. "You look a little sullen."

"No, I'm just thinking some things over. The princess is at higher risk once we leave the academy and Alberta wants me to come up with some strategies to make sure she is safe." I hated lying to her, but I couldn't tell her what was really on my mind.

"You work to much Dimitri. You need a break." She smiled at me and leaned back into the seat. "I wanted to ask you what Rose might like for Christmas. You guys seem close and I really don't know her well," she said. I cringed. This is so not what I wanted to talk about right now. Not when I was trying to figure out how to get her out of my head.

"Dimitri, did you hear me?"

"Oh, yes, I was thinking sorry. Rose is a typical girl. She likes make up and cloths. Maybe a pretty dress or something."

"Yes, I was thinking the same thing."

The car fell silent. I was thinking of something to say, anything. "Tell me about your work," I told her. Tasha looked over at me with a skeptical look on her face. "Dimitri, you know everything I do. We basically have the same job. What's really going on? "

"Nothing," I lied. "I just need a vacation. I feel like I am always working." She gave me a knowing smile and placed her hand on mine. "Perhaps you are right. We can't always be working. And you are taking on way more than most instructors do. Rose seems like a nice girl, but I can tell she is defiantly a handful to say the least. "

I laughed. "Rose is defiantly a handful, but she is extremely talented and smart. She knows more about life than most guardians twice her age. I really actually enjoy working with her." I couldn't believe I had just laid all that on the table. If she couldn't figure out I was in love with Rose Hathaway than no one would. I should have just pasted a sign to my back saying 'cradle robber' for the whole world to see. God, I am in so much trouble. Bye the look in Tasha's eyes, I could tell she knew how I felt.

For the rest of the trip we talked about Tasha and everything she had been up too. She was really easy to talk to, and, she was safe. Not like Rose, who would end up killing me if I let her in anymore than I already had.

The mall was swarming with last minute Christmas shoppers. I holstered my stake, gun and a knife. Tasha looked over and smiled at me. "You think you real need all that fire power?"

"I can never be too careful when it comes to your safety," I told her.

"Dimitri, I didn't ask you here as a guardian, I asked you here as a friend. You can relax a little now. Have some fun, do some shopping or something. I haven't had a guardian in over a decade and I have been fine. Now, take off the guardian mask and let Dimitri come out to play."

I couldn't help but smile. "I tell you what, I will stay armed, but I won't do the see but not be seen thing. How does that sound?"

"Well, it's better than nothing," she said. "Come on before these people buy everything out before I get a chance to cause some damage."

Tasha wasn't kidding when she said she had some damage to do. For the next few hours we went from store to store buying the perfect gifts for everyone. At one point we stopped at some dresses. Tasha picked up a really sexy red dress, which had an oriental design to it. "What do you think?" she asked me. "Do you think Rose will like it?"

I stared at the dress for a moment. I imagined Rose wearing it, covering all the right places, but showing off all her curves. "She will love it," I told her, but inside I was thinking, crap, crap, crap. That's just want I need to have in my mind right now. A picture of Rose, in that dress.

Tasha smiled. "Good, now we can go get something to eat," she said.

"Lead the way, I'm starving," I told her grinning.

Tasha led us down the street to a small café. "I just don't know what I would do without GPS," she said. "I would be hopelessly lost without it."

I smiled. "I know my way around here pretty well, I think we would have been fine."

As we sat down, Tasha's daminier changed. She became serious and a little quiet.

"What's wrong?" I asked her. Tasha definatly was not the type of person who showed when she was stress or upset or anything.

"Dimitri," she started. "There is something I have been thinking about and I really want your input. "

"Okay," I said a little concerned.

"Well, I've been thinking a lot about the past and how much fun we always had and how easy it is to be with you." She grabbed my hands smiling. Then she looked right into my eyes. "You know, it can always be easy and fun for us. And I know how much you want kids. I can give you children. And we could be happy. Dimka, I'm asking you to be my guardian."

I couldn't say anything. This was exactly what I had wanted. For Tasha to take me away from here, to get me to forget.

Tasha looked into my eyes still smiling. "I know this is a lot to take in, but I know you need a change, Dimka. It would be great for both of us."

I don't think I was breathing and I am pretty sure my mouth was hanging open. It's like she could read my mind or something.

"I know you are Rose's mentor, but she is really good and I know she would be okay without you.

Well crap! Why did she have to bring Rose up? Now she was in my head again. Her beautiful brown eyes, her long hair, even her snarky comments flooded my mind. I could even smell her. Rose was every reason I had to pack my things and be on the first flight to Minneapolis. But then again, she was every reason to stay.

Tasha's smile faltered only a little. "You don't need to give me an answer now. Take some time to think about it. But I want you to know, that this offer is here and I really do think it would be good for you and me both.

When I could finally fine my words again, the only thing I could think of to say was "okay".

We got back to the academy only an hour before I was supposed to meet Rose for practice. I was beat.

"Belikov," I heard as I was about to enter my room. I turned around and looked down into the stern eyes of Janine Hathaway. Well, Crap. What now?

"Are you just getting in?" she asked me.

"Yes, Ma'am, I was just getting ready to go meet Rose for practice."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh hell," I thought.

"Since you are just getting in, I would like to take over practice today. I think Rosemarie and I need some time to chat. She complains I am never here for her, well I think this might be good for us."

Really, I didn't think any time with these two together was good, but the two of them being alone together...spelled disaster. One of them was going to wind up hurt or dead and the school would be rubble by the time they were done with each other.

Janine just looked at me waiting for an answer. I nodded. "I would appreciate that."

"Good, now go get some rest."

I walked into my room hoping Rose didn't do anything to get herself expelled, but if she did, I was still here to get her out of it…this time.

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**DUM DUM DUM DUM.....Hope you all enjoyed now leave me a review damn it!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Wow, two chapters in one day!!! Okay, i admit, I wrote it over the last couple of days while at the ocean. I hope you guys like it. This is another chapter that wasnt in the book, but needed to be told. So it's all my emagination here. Read and Review. I love you gus for the comments! I could use more. They give me great insperation...even if they arnt good. I can see where I need to make changes in my writing. **

**Also as you know, like every chap before....I do not own VA or any charectors. Richelle Mead is the awesome genius here. Thanks Richelle for the great world you have created!**

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Chapter 8-

I had only been asleep for a few hours when I was awoken by a loud pounding at my door. "I'll be right there," I called pulling on a pair of jeans.

"Belikov, hurry it up," Stan alto was yelling as I opened the door.

"What's going on?" I asked him.

"Albert needs to see you in her office right now," he said walking off. "Asshole," I muttered to myself.

When I arrived at Albert's office, Janine was already sitting there. She looked horrible and Alberta just looked pissed. "Well crap," I thought. I knew this was not good.

"Belikov, please sit down," Albert said. "Oh Hell, Rose is dead," I thought. I knew something like this was going to happen if I let them be alone together.

"It seems Roses mouth caused an incident during practice today," Albert was saying.

I internally groaned. "What kind of incident?" I asked.

"Yes, she couldn't keep her mouth shut and Guardian Hathaway lost her concentration."

"Damn it Rose! For once in your life could you not keep it to yourself," I thought.

"I didn't mean for it to happen, but I slipped and hit Rose in the face. She fell back and hit her head hard on the floor. I got her to the med clinic and she may have a possible concussion." Janine said, not looking at me. She really looked upset. Not something I was expecting from her.

I nodded at Alberta. "Thank you for letting me know. I will check on her soon."

"Alright," Alberta said. "Oh, she has been excused for the rest of her classes today. You are dismissed."

"Thank you," I told her and got up to leave.

I had barely made it out the door when Janine caught up to me. "Belikov," she called reaching for my arm. "I really am sorry for what happened," she said. I truly don't know how I let it get so out of hand."

"I know Rose well enough to know exactly how something like this can happen," I told her. "Really, I was expecting something much worse." She gave me a nod, turned on her heal, and walked away.

I decided to take a walk. I needed to clear my head and try to figure out what I was going to do. Tasha's offer was just what I needed, but the selfish part of me, never wanted to be away from Rose. My heart hurt with the decision I needed to make. I could stay here with this impossible girl who somehow stole my heart and risk everything I have worked my entire life for, or I could escape to Tasha and risk never seeing Rose again and the possibility of never being happy again.

Without even realizing it, I ended up at the med clinic. I looked in on a sleeping Rose. God, she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. I didn't want to wake her so I went to talk to Dr. Olendzki.

"How is she?" I asked.

"She will be fine," she told me smiling. "I just wanted to keep her out of classes today as a precaution. She will be fine to go back to training tomorrow."

"Thank you," I said. Then I turned and left the building.

I still couldn't figure out what I should do. I decided to head to the one person I knew I could trust to give me some answers…Alberta.

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**Hope you Liked it....NOW LEAVE ME A REVIEW!**


	9. Chapter 9

**okay here it is, chapter nine. I hope you enjoy. I am not sure if i am going to keep going on this story. I can tell i am having a lot of visitors, but i don't get a lot of comments so I'm afraid it is just not that good. If you really want me to continue please let me know. For those of you who are enjoying the story, Thank you so much for your support. It means a lot to me. You guys are great!**

**Also, i do not own va or any of the charectors. The real awesome genius is Richelle Mead. Thank you Richelle for creating such an awesome world!**

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CHAPTER 9-

After pouring my heart out to Alberta, well, not about everything; I kind of left out the part about me wanting to leave because I was in love with a 17 year old girl who was not only a minor for the next few months, but also my student, I found that I had actually shared the story with most of the guardians. Well, Crap! Somehow the door was left cracked open. When I emerged from the office, most everyone looked away acting like they heard nothing. I however, knew better. "Let the rumors begin," I thought to myself as I walked back to my room.

I was only about half way across the quad when a really pissed off Rose stormed into the Moroi dorms. I thought about going after her, and then thought better of it. She definitely was not who I needed to be chasing after right now. That would just complicate an already complicated situation. "Roza, what have you done to me?" I thought. With a sigh I headed to my room.

That night, I fell into a restless sleep. Pictures of Rose flashed in my head; her smiling, her running, her workouts with me. Pictures of her trying to fight me off the night I found her and Lissa in Portland ran through me. It wouldn't stop. Our training together, her face twisted in confusion and fear when she entered the Badica house. I saw her eyes, her beautiful brown eyes staring at me. My heart fluttered in my sleep. I woke up with a start, sweating. I knew if I didn't leave Rose, she would become my life. I would put her life ahead of Lissa's and that was something I could not do. They come first.

I decided to get an early start to my day and headed to the gym. A good workout always helped me clear my head. I was in the middle of bench pressing when a hand grabbed the bar I was lifting and placed it in its cradle. I was looking into the eyes of Alberta. "We need to talk," she said and walked away. I grabbed my towel and walked after her. When we were in one of the smaller training rooms she shut the door and turned to me. "I know I said yesterday, that I thought it was a good idea to take Tasha up on her offer, however, I do want you to know that if you choose to take this offer you will be missed. You are one of the best guardians I have and I would hate to see you leave." I couldn't help but stir at her. Alberta saying that was like her giving me a bear hug, and that would never happen. "I would also like you to know," she continued, "that if you leave and ever want to resume you post here, we will gladly take you back."

"Thank you Alberta," I said. "I still have not made any decisions, but I will let you know as soon as I do and I will remember your offer." She nodded and walked out of the room. "Well, that was odd," I thought to myself.

As I walked out of the training room, I noticed that Rose was talking to Mason. I could see her laughing and going on about something, but I couldn't exactly hear what. I rolled my eyes. What is with him always being around? He was a good kid and all, but I didn't like that he was always flirting with Rose, my Rose. As soon as he saw me he took his leave and Rose turned her attention to me.

I led her into the training room that we had been using. I had again set up the dummies so we could back to work. I noticed that Rose wouldn't look at me straight on. She always kept her face turned down and away from me. I simply told her that I wanted her to work on the maneuvers I had taught her the other day. She kept her hair down and went to work. I set back and let her have at the dummies only speaking when she slipped up a little. "Your hair is in the way," I told her at one point. "Not only are you blocking your peripheral vision, you're running the risk of letting you enemy get a handhold."

"If I'm actually in a fight, I'll wear it up," she grunted as she staked one of the dummies. She put a little extra shove into it. "I'm just wearing it down today that's all."

"Rose," I warned. She ignored me and plunged at the dummy again. "Rose, stop," I felt myself nearly shouting at her. She finally backed away from the dummy, but wouldn't look at me. She kept her head down covering her face.

"Look at me," I told her.

"Dimitri-"

I could tell she was scared and upset, but I pressed anyway. She wouldn't disobey an order from me. "_Look at me."_

She finally looked towards me, but kept her head down so her hair was covering both sides of her face. I finally got up from my chair and walked over to her. My heart fluttered with how close I was. I could smell her; it smelled wonderful, even after working out. I lifted my hand and started to brush her hair away. Oh her beautiful hair. I could spend all day running my hands through her silky hair. Then I saw it. Her face looked as though someone had taken a crowbar to it. The bruise was awful. My hand stopped. I couldn't move. I was going to absolutely going to kill Janine Hathaway. I stood there for just a few moments trying to get control of my emotions. All I wanted to do was pull her into my arms and hold her and tell her I was going to make it better and that I would never let anyone hurt her like that again. I wanted to kiss her and run my fingers through her hair and let her cry into my shoulder. But it was not something I could do, so I let my hand drop back to my side.

Rose slowly looked up to me and made eye contact. Her hair mostly fell from her face so I could get a good look. My hand shuddered wanting so badly to brush her hair completely back, but gained control and didn't let myself slip. "Does it hurt," I asked her.

"No," she lied.

"It doesn't look so bad." It was my turn to lie. "It will heal."

"I hate her," she hissed. Her words were so full of venom that it nearly knocked me back.

"No, you don't," I told her as gently as I could.

"I do."

"You don't have time to hate anyone," I told her. "Not in our profession. You should make peace with her."

I could tell I wasn't making anything better. Her anger was boiling over. "Make peace with her?" she shouted. "After she gave me a black eye on purpose? Why am I the only one who sees how crazy that is?

"She absolutely did not do it on purpose," I told her. "No matter how much you resent her, you have to believe that. She wouldn't do that, and anyway, I saw her later that day. She was worried about you."

"Probably more worried someone would bring her up on child abuse charges?" she grumbled.

I sighed. "Don't you think this is the time of year for forgiveness?"

"This isn't a Christmas special! This is my life. In the real world, miracles and goodness just don't happen."

"In the real world you can make your own miracles," I told her.

Well, that was it. She hit her breaking point and I could see the anger and fury inside of her boiling over the top and I was about to get an earful of a really pissed off Rose Hathaway.

"Okay, you can just stop this for once," she huffed at me.

"Stop what?"

"The whole profound Zen crap thing. You don't talk to me like a real person. Everything you say is just some wise, life lesson nonsense. "You really do sound like a Christmas special." The words she was throwing at me really didn't hurt. I knew she was just hurt and upset so I just stood there and let her continue to let it out.

"I swear, sometimes it's like you just want to hear yourself talk! And I know you're not always like this. You were perfectly normal when you talked to Tasha. But with me? You're just going through the motions. You don't care about me. You're just stuck in your stupid mentor role."

Ouch, okay that hurt. I didn't even know what to day. How could she be standing here telling me that I don't care about her? I care more about her than anyone on this planet. I loved her. I know I didn't show it very often, but that was because I couldn't. I just stared at her. I'm sure my expression was a mixture of hurt and shock.

"I don't care about you?" I asked.

"No, I'm just another student to you," she said poking me in the chest. "I'm just another student to you. You just go on and on with your stupid life lessons so that-"

I couldn't take it anymore. I reached up and grabbed the hand she was poking me with and pinned it to the wall. My frustration with her was now taking over.

"Don't tell me what I'm thinking," I growled at her.

Rose stood there and looked at me for a few moments, deep in thought.

"That's it, isn't it?" she asked.

"What?"

You're always fighting for control. You're the same as me."

"No," I said looking straight into her eyes. "I've learned my control."

Her eyes gleamed. "No, you haven't. You put on a good face, and most of the time you do stay in control. But sometimes you can't, and sometime," she leaned in lower her voice into a sexy seductive tone. "Sometimes you don't want to."

"Rose…"

My heart was beating fast and my breathing was becoming labored. Before I knew what happened, Rose leaned in and kissed me. I couldn't help myself, I kissed her back. Sweet passion ran from my body. All the tension and fear, love and hope, dreams and frustrations I felt towards Rose was melted into the kiss. I pulled her closer to me, tangling my hand into air. I didn't want it to end. I wanted to stay here forever kissing her like this. I wanted to do more than kiss her. I wanted to take her back to my room and finish where we left off the night of the lust charm. I wanted to make her mine forever.

Realization of the situation hit me like I was just hit in the face with a brick. I jerked away from her and took several steps back.

"Do not do that again," I told her a little shaken.

"Don't kiss me back then," she with a little smirk.

I stared at her for several moments. How could she be so impossible? How could she cause me to act like this, when I know damn well it's not right? How could I have given my heart to this girl who has no concept of boundaries? How could I not?

"I don't give Zen lessons to hear myself talk. I don't give them because you're just another student. I'm doing this to teach you control."

"You're doing a great job," she said bitterly.

I closed my eyes for a moment. "I can't do this anymore. Not with her," I muttered in Russian so she couldn't understand me. Without another glance, I turned and left the room. I knew at that moment I had also left my heart standing there and would probably never get it back again. It belonged to her and no matter how many times I told myself it was impossible, I loved Rose and she would always come first.

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**if you want me to keep updating, press the pretty button in the middle of the screen. Yup, that's the one. Yup, it has green letters on it. Go on, you know you want too!**


	10. Chapter 10

**I would just like to thank everyone to asked me to keep writing. I didnt realize that I had so many people out there that really like my work. I am sorry it took so long to get this up, but I finally had edited my own work enough to get chapter one posted and I really was excited about that. So without further adue, here is chapter 10. I hope you like it! R&R**

**Oh and i dont own VA or it's Charectors. The awesome Richelle mead does. Thanks Richelle for the awesome world you have created.**

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Chapter 10

I left Rose standing there in the training room. I just walked away, which I knew was the right move. I knew it with every ounce of me, but I still felt my heart and a piece of my soul were lost forever. I was going to take Tasha up on her offer and get as far away from the academy and from Rose as I could.

I went back to my room and paced around for a while. Finally, I sat down at the desk and wrote Rose a note. Actually I wrote several notes to her, but none turned out right. They ranged from I can't be your mentor anymore because I love you to I can't live without you in my life to you are my everything. Yeah, that was not going to work. I finally settled for telling her I was canceling the next few practices because of the upcoming trip to the ski lodge. I knew she wouldn't buy it for a moment, but at least it was an excuse not to see her for a while. I needed to get my head on straight.

For the rest of the day I ignored everyone. I didn't leave my room. I sat and read my book, well I tried to read it, but everything kept reminding me of Rose. "Damn it," I thought. "I can't even read my books without her popping into my head and Rose would so never be the damsel in distress. She would kill me if she knew that's what I was seeing her as in my books." I ended up throwing the book across the room and pacing again. I finally lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling. After a while, the scene around me changed.

_I was at the ski lodge lying in bed. I was warm and happy. I was wrapped in the arms of a girl with beautiful long silky hair. I was wrapped in Roses arms. "Hey," she said to me. I smiled. _

"_Hey, you stayed." She sat up in bed and kissed me with such passion I almost couldn't control myself. I grabbed her and rolled her onto her back. I straddled her wrapping my handing into her hair. I kissed her neck. I kissed her lips. Her sweet soft lips. I looked into her eyes. She looked into mine. "Dimitri," she moaned. _

"_Roza, I love you."_

"_Oh Dimitri, I…"_

I woke with a thud, on my floor. "Shit, I can't even sleep without her being there," I yelled to no one. Life sucks!

A few days later I was feeling a little better. I hadn't seen Rose and I was starting to think that maybe if I was away from her long enough I would get my life back. I headed towards the guest housing area where Tasha was staying. The air was crisp and cold and I could tell it would start snowing again soon. I liked this time of the year a lot. It reminded me of home.

I walked into the parlor to a busy Tasha trying to finish getting everything ready. "Would you like some help with that?" I asked trying to hide a laugh.

"Oh Dimka, you scared me a little."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to." This time I did smile. Tasha forgot what she was doing and walked over to me. She smiled and looked into my eyes. "Dimka, you look tired. Why have you not been sleeping?" she asked me, truly concerned.

"I have been, and besides this is not time to worry, it's Christmas. Not a time to worry, but a time for wonderful friends and family."

Tasha rolled her eyes and went back to the table. "How about some cocoa then?"

"I would love some, but how about you sit and I take that over that for a while."

Tasha grinned and took a seat. "You really are a good man, Dimka. I am so very happy to have you in my life."

We sat for a while just talking and forgetting the time. I didn't get the same feelings for her that I did with Rose and in the back of my mind I think I was telling myself that. I missed her. Christian and Lissa were the first to arrive. They quickly said their hello's and joined in our conversation. I could tell that Christian made Lissa very happy. It was the type of happy that Rose couldn't even do for her, even with the bond. A little while later Mason walked in. I didn't really think much of it until Rose came in holding his hand. Jealousy stirred its ugly little head and I had the urge to jump up and punch Mason in the face. He stood no chance against me. Lissa greeted her with a big hug and Christian nodded at her, which was a big step forward in their relationship. Rose and Tasha hugged and chatted for a few minutes. She barely allowed a glance in my direction.

As the day went on so did the festivities. Everyone was having a great time. Janine showed up at one point and I could tell Rose didn't like that one bit. The conversation went from happy and easy to mainly things about guardian business. Rose looked bored with the conversation but Mason picked up on it quite happily.

After a wonderful brunch we exchanged gifts. I only paid attention to what Rose had gotten really. Tasha had gotten her the beautiful dress that haunted my dreams and plagued my imagination with thoughts of how she would look in it. She also got Chotki from Lissa, which I must admit caused a little emotion from her. Something I was wondering if I would ever see again. She even glanced at me for a moment. I could feel my heart beating hard. I wanted to go over and hug her and give her the box that was in the pocket of my coat that held a charm bracelet with only one charm on it, a little silver rose. I knew I couldn't give it to her, not yet. I allowed myself to smile at her and nod, but no more. I had to keep my distance. She quickly looked away from me, but I could see the hurt in her eyes. I could see that she wanted me as much as I wanted her, but did she love me? I sometimes wondered if it was only physical with her or if she had the same feelings for me as I did for her. Before I could stop my mind babble, Mason was taking out a bag and handing it to her. She smiled and opened it. She took out some lip gloss like I had given her before the lust charm. She then took out a tank top. She started smiling and held it up to show Lissa. On it was written, Goddess. What the hell was up with that? Lissa started laughing. "I couldn't help it," Mason said. "It was just too perfect for her. Rose really is a goddess to a lot of people around here." Janine and I were glaring at him, but I don't think anyone else noticed. Even Tasha had to stifle a laugh.

The party soon started to end and everyone went their own ways. Rose and Mason left and a few moments later Janine took her leave saying she wanted to talk to Rose for a minute. "Well crap, one of them was bound to get hurt again," I thought to myself. Christian and Lissa were the next to leave. And then it was just Tasha and I. She got up and started to clean. I got up to help her. She was humming Christmas music and lost in thought.

"Okay, spill it," I said. "What's up?"

"Nothing is up. It was a wonderful Christmas, don't you think?"

"I do."

"Dimka, I saw the way you were looking at Rose. What's going on with you two?"

"We had a little disagreement a few days ago at practice. She has a lot of growing up to do and I was trying to point that out to her. Let's just say she didn't take it very well."

Tasha sighed. "It seems like there was more to it than that."

"No, but I haven't seen her in a few days. I really should talk to her soon."

"I think you should, but Dimka, you also need to be careful. I don't want to see either of you in trouble or hurt." She gave me a look that she knew I wasn't telling her the whole truth and that she knew what was really going on. I smiled at her and went back to cleaning up. Tasha soon started yawning and I took my leave.

Before I could leave Tasha grabbed my arm and looked at me in the eyes. "Dimitri, life is too short to give up on happiness. Even if it is a happiness that you think is wrong or risky. Don't live with the regret that you never gave it a chance. You deserve better than that." She smiled that knowing smile and kissed my cheek.

"You are a great women Tasha Ozera." I smiled at her and turned to head back to my room. I had a lot of things I needed to sort through. I thought my decision to leave was made, but what Tasha had told me, made me think I had a few more things I needed to figure out. Well crap!

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If you liked it please review. There is this little button down there to click. Easy Peasy!


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys, sorry it took so long to update, but i hit the dreaded writers block, and i couldn't figure this chapter out. It's not very good, but i hope it works. If your lucky the next chapter will be a really good surprise. You have to read and review to get it though. The last few sentences will let you know what I'm talking about. Anywho, here it is chapter 11.**

**I do not own va or the charectors. The awesome genius behind it is Richelle Mead. Thanks Richelle for the awesome world you created!**

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Chapter 11

I stared out of the small window of the airplane lost in thought. The next week or so should be a fun change of pace. With all the extra guardians that would be on site, we are all going to be on a little vacation ourselves. I was really looking forward to getting some skiing in and hopefully avoiding Rose at all cost. "Is this seat taken?" I looked up into the smiling face of Tasha. "No, please sit." I smiled; glad to have someone as wonderful as Tasha in my life. I hadn't come out and told her about Rose, but she knew and she was keeping my secret to herself. That was the kind of person she was.

"Dimka, I am so glad that you are coming on the trip. I know for sure I have at least you to have some fun with. I have a feeling that Christian isn't going to be around much."

"I believe you are right," I told her looking ahead as Christian and Lissa boarded the plane hand in hand. "Their relationship seems to have become pretty serious."

"Yes," said Tasha eying them happily. "They sure do make a cute couple, and Lissa is just perfect for him. I think she keeps him in line." I couldn't help but laugh at that. It really was true. Christian had gone from antisocial outcast to one of the most talked about guys on campus. His and Lassa's relationship had been at the top of the rumor mill for some weeks now.

Tasha and I were in the midst of our discussion when Rose walked into the plane. My heart skipped a beat and I saw her. She was so beautiful, and then she saw me. I had no idea what happened. She was shooting daggers and Tasha and I. What was that all about? She looked up and smiled at someone behind me. I had to assume it was Mason. I was pretty sure, they were taking their relationship to the next level, but I wasn't sure. It was something that I was going to have to look into. I sighed wishing I knew what was going on with her. Tasha placed her hand over mine and gave me her knowing smile. "It will get better Dimka; you just need to give it time." I smiled and sat back in my seat for the short flight.

The resort was amazing. It was built to look like a log cabin and was surround by large Pine trees. In the background I could barely make out the mountains. "It's breathtaking, isn't it?" sighed Tasha. "It is," I said smiling at her. She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the lodge. I helped her up to her room and quickly excused myself. "I need to speak with Alberta and get my schedule. Call me if you need anything." She smiled at me and kissed my cheek. "Don't worry Dimka, I will be fine."

I had to get away. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I was being smothered by all the choices I had to make. What happened to it being easy? Nothing used to be in my way of taking any opportunity that came my way. And now a seventeen year old girl was making my life seem like it was coming apart. I hated her for that, but I also knew I wanted to keep holding on. I knew we could make it through. I just had to stay strong. I was here for her no matter what.

I made it my room just before I crumbled in on myself. I was trying to catch my breath, but no matter what I couldn't get it to come to me. I really needed to hit something. I knew I couldn't leave my room in my current mood, so I settled for hitting the pillow on my bed until it bust open sending feathers flying everywhere. "Shit," I muttered to myself. "I have got to get out of here." I needed an escape.

I walked outside to get some air. Something caught my eye on the top of the slopes. "Shit, Rose what are you doing?" I thought to myself as she went flying down the mountain pulling off some pretty suicidal stunts. "She is going to kill herself," I told myself walking away. I really didn't want to see what happened next. I mean I was trying to clear my head of her so I could think rationally for the first time in months, even though I knew I would never think rationally again. Rose had grabbed hold of me tight and was not about to let go. She took all of my rationality and turned it into school boy crush mumbo jumbo that I could not figure out for the life of me. God she really as going to be the death of me!

I finally made it to the guardians' lounge, which was really just a hotel room that we made into a lounge. As I walked in a few of the guardians shot an amused look at me. "What?" I asked.

"That's quite a student you have there, Belikov," a guardian name Rimsky said.

Crap, what happened now? I thought. "What did Rose do now? She didn't hit someone again did she?" I asked.

They gave me a skeptical smile. I was just confused. "You should have seen her suicide run on the slopes not too long ago. I was sure she was going to kill herself with the stunts she was trying to pull off." I rolled my eyes. "Ashford, however, wasn't so lucky," he continued. "Shit," I muttered. "Yeah, he's not going to be back on the slopes any time soon," He said.

"If I know Ashford, he will be back at it by the morning," I informed them. Hearing enough, I decided to head back to my room. I was just not in the mood to be around anyone right now. I needed to be by myself. I was hoping that a good night sleep would help me get my head on right. I of course should know better because as soon as I fell asleep, I had another Rose dream and it was HOT!

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Ha, I told you, you would want me to write the surprise chapter! All you have to do is review and i'll give you all what you are wanting! hehehe *evil laugh*


	12. Chapter 12

**Wow you guys were great with the reviews! I love you all so much. It really does give me the insperation i need when i get reviews. So anyways this is the dream Dimitri had. I hope you like it. **

**I do not own va or it's charectors. The genius behind them is the awesome Richelle Mead. Thank you Richelle for the Awesome world you have created.**

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Chapter 12

_I walked outside to get some air. Things were getting to __claustrophobic_ _for my taste. I needed to get away from it all. I opened to door to see my beautiful Roza sitting on a bench looking out at the mountains. Her hair was down around her face and knees pulled up into her chest. She was lost in thought. I stood there for a long moment just taking her in. She was an angel. I walked over and put my coat around her shoulders. She looked up with a single tear in her eye. _

"_What's wrong?" I asked her._

"_I'm going to lose you, aren't I?" she asked. I could see the agony in her eyes. I could hear it in her voice. My heart broke. "Roza, you will never lose me," I told her. She snuggled into my chest. I sat there for a while looking out at the mountains and running my fingers through her hair. The beauty of my surroundings could never compare to that of my Roza. She was the epitome of beauty. Everything about her was perfection. _

"_Roza, I love you," I whispered into her ear._

_She looked up into my eyes a hint of a smile on her beautiful lips. She was so close. I gave up at that moment and leaned in and kissed her. It was soft and sweet. I pulled away. There was more I had to tell her. _

"_You are my world, my heart, my soul, my being. I would be nothing without you in my life. I would lose myself if you were ever lost to me. From the moment I laid eyes on you I lost myself to you. I gave you my everything, my whole being. I have fought for too long trying to push you away, but I just can't do it anymore. If I live a single moment more without telling you this, I think I would burst. Roza, my love for you would surpass anything. I can't live without you at my side anymore."_

_Rose sat there looking at me with tears running down her face. Her smile slowly spread across her face. "Dimitri, I have waited for so long to hear those words from you. I gave you my heart, my soul, my being a long time ago. You kept pushing me away and then when Tasha made you that offer, I just knew I had lost you forever. I could never get to really live. If you leave, you would take my heart, soul, and my being with you. I would never be whole again. You are what makes me whole. You are my world, Dimitri. I don't want to live without my world. I love you so much."_

_She reached over and pulled me into another kiss. I pulled Rose onto my lap deepening the kiss. I didn't care who would catch us or any of the consequences of my actions. The only thing that mattered in the here and now was Rose and I and the passion and heat that running through my body. _

_When we finally pulled away from each other both of our breathing was labored. I kissed her forehead and pulled her up. "Where are we going," she asked._

"_My room," I said smiling. Rose's eyes burned with passion. I loved her so much._

"_What if we get caught?" _

"_If someone sees us, just play along okay."_

_She nodded. I took her hand and pulled her along behind me. We had nearly made it back to my room when I heard someone coming up behind me._

"_Belikov," Alberta called._

"_Play along," I whispered to Rose._

"_Yes?" I said turning around. I made sure I made my voice sound pissed off and I narrowed my eyes. Rose did great catching on. She hung her head and acted like she was really upset._

"_What is Ms. Hathaway doing in the guardian wing?"_

"_I needed to have a little chat with her about using the good sense that God gave her." I hardened my tone. "I assume you hear about the stunt that she and Ashford pulled today."_

_She nodded. "I did, you are dismissed."_

_I opened my door pulling Rose in behind me. As soon as it was closed behind us, I pulled her up and kissed her hard. My tongue playing on her lips waiting for her to play along. It didn't take long. She grabbed me around my neck wrapping her legs around my waist. I lay her on my bed pulling away for only a moment to take her in. She was stunning. _

_Rose sat up on her knees kissing me again. She ran her hands under my shirt. My skin tingled with yearning for her. She brought my shirt up over my head. Her fingers ran down my stomach. She kissed my chest, my neck, and my lips. She was the only person who could cause this much passion to be ignited within my soul._

_I pulled her shirt off running my hands over every inch of her bare skin. I had to feel her, all of her. I unfastened her bra and let it slip off. She leaned in and kissed me hard, running her hands down to my pants. She was taking all of me in too. I could see the love radiating from her and it was all for me. She made me the happiest person in the world. _

_I lay her back down on the bed kissing her gently. I unbuttoned her jeans and slipped them off. I had to stop for a moment. I was blinded by her beauty. She lay there looking into my eyes willing to give herself to me completely. I don't think I could love her more than I did at that moment. If I did, I was sure that my heart would explode. I kissed her again and looked into her eyes. She nodded answering my unasked question. She wanted this as much as I wanted it. At that moment, we became one. Our hearts, our souls, our beings became one. There was no going back now. She was my Roza forever and I was her Dimitri. _

_The passion exploded from me. It was amazing. I closed my eyes as our bodies matched each others rhythm. Rose pulled me into her kissing me deep. I felt her tense and let out a moan of pleasure. At the same time I let myself find complete bliss in her. My world swam with love and hope for the future. She was my Roza. She would always be my Roza and nothing would ever take that away from me._

I woke up sweating, but happy. I hadn't woken up happy in a long time. I had found my answer. I knew what I had to do. My whole life I had wanted to be a guardian, and I was damn good at it. I was, however, willing to give it all up for a chance to love Rose and have her at my side forever. I could never leave her. She was my future, my happiness, my heart, my soul, and my world. I would never let that go.

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**Review Please! I hope you guys liked it, i had a lot of fun writing it!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Authors' note-**

**Bad news. My daughters got a hold of my book, and let's just say…she won. I am going to have to get a new copy before I can continue so sadly, I am not going to be updating for about a week or so. I have some other stories that I am working on that you can read though. The human guardian and in dreams I wake. The human guardian is a VA fanfic about a human being accepted into the academy to become the first human guardian in history. So anyways there are more stories, just Dimitri and Rose are on hold for a week or so. I'm really sorry and I will update as soon as I get another copy of frostbite!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Surprise!!!! I went and got a new book today! Yes that's right i love you all that much :-D I hope you enjoy chapter 13.**

**I don't own VA or it's characters. The awesome genius is Richelle Mead. Thanks Richelle for the awesome world you have created!**

**Be kind and review or I'll give my daughter the scissors and that mean no more Dimitri...*EVIL LAUGH* **

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Chapter 13-

The next morning I had duty. Thankfully I had something to keep my mind on track. I was sitting at the gate completely aware of my surroundings. Every time the wind would change I would check my surroundings again. I knew there was nothing to fear. The resort was surrounded by as many wards as the school, if not more. I felt myself relax just a little thinking about that. I didn't have to stress myself out so much.

From where I was I had a great view of the slopes. I saw the slopes were becoming pretty popular and I longed for the chance to get out there. I hadn't been skiing in years. I was looking at the run closest to me when I saw Rose and Mason get off the list. "They are both suicidal," I said to myself shaking my head. Of course, thinking that made me think of my dream last night. Rose was so beautiful in that dream. She was a true beauty every day, even with a black eye, but in that dream she was more. Her giving herself to me completely made her amazing. I longed to touch her like that. I longed to run my hands down her smooth body and kiss her lips, her neck, her breasts, her thighs.

"Belikov," I heard from behind me. I turned around and smiled. It was Rimsky. "You're off man; go have some fun while I sit here in complete utter boredom and die of loneliness." He gave me a sad puppy dog face and I laughed. "That look does not work coming from you." He grinned. "I bet it would work coming from Tasha Ozera." I sighed and shook my head. "So, I suppose you want some company for a while," I said a little hesitantly longing for the slopes and Rose. He grinned at me. "Oh that would be lovely but only if you insist." He said laughing. I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes like Rose would have.

"So, are the rumors true that you are leaving the Princess and the academy to guard Tasha?" I looked over at Rimsky who had a small smile playing at his lips. "The rumors are true that I was asked, but I have not made any decisions yet." I actually had, but I wasn't about to tell him that.

Rimsky looked over at me and nodded. "Well, if you ask my opinion, it's a great deal, but on the other hand, guarding the princess is a privilege that anyone would jump at. And you would be guarding with the baby Hathaway and from what I hear, she's as bad ass as her mother is. And if you tell anyone I said that I will haunt you for the rest of your days because I will be dead at the hands of Janine." I laughed. "Don't worry, I won't say anything."

We sat there in silence for a long time. I was enjoying the fresh air and just being away from everything. "Well Belikov, I think it's time for you to have some fun. Why don't you hit the slopes for a while or play some pool." I looked over at him. "What?" he asked. "You are always working and busy, people are starting to think that you are losing it. You need to show them your fun side once in a while." I nodded at him and headed back towards the lodge.

I decided to go and find Tasha. She would know how to have some fun. I knocked on her door and in moments she answered it. "Dimka, come in," she said moving out of the way. "What do I owe the pleasure?"

I smiled at her loving the fact that I had such a great friend in her. "Well apparently I don't know how to have fun anymore," I told her. She just grinned at me. "Well, that is a problem that I think we need to rectify right now. Give me five minutes and I'll be ready to go." I smiled at her. "Take your time. So have you seen the kids today? I have been on guard and haven't gotten to catch up with them." Tasha poked her head out of the bathroom. "The kids or Rose?" she asked. "Both," I said. "I have a good relationship with all of the kids."

"I know you do, Dimka, and yes, I have seen ALL of the kids today. They are all well and out having fun which is exactly what we are going to do right now." She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the door. I didn't ask questions of where we were going because I knew Tasha way to well and she wanted this to be a surprise.

We found our way outside and to the back of the resort near where the ski runs began. I was actually a little hopeful that we would be getting some time in on the slopes, but Tasha had something else in mind. She led me over to a large frozen pond. I looked over at her with an evil grin. "Ice skating," she said. "I can see that, but why ice skating when you could be skiing or at the spa?"

"Well, I figured this was the easiest way for us to talk. And I want to know what you came up with after you left me yesterday. Also, I would really like you to actually admit your feelings about her to me. I am probably one of the only people you can talk to about this. The rest would probably feed you to the strigoi." I looked over at her and nodded. "I suppose your right," I sighed.

We skated for a while in silence while I got my thoughts together. I think Tasha knew I needed a few minutes. After a few minutes she sighed and looked over at me. "Dimitri, if you're not ready its okay. I am not going to push you to tell me." I shook my head. "No, I'm going to tell you. You are right; you are the only one I can tell." I sighed and dove right in.

"To tell you the truth, it started from the moment I saw her in Portland. Something about her just drew me to her. She was not like anyone I would have ever seen myself with. She was careless and sarcastic and immature and basically hopeless, but at the same time she was the most caring and selfless person I had ever met. She spent two years on the run keeping Lissa safe and would have died to protect her. Then when we got back to the academy and I thought she would be sent away, something happened and I thought I would lose my world if she left. I really didn't understand any of it. I mean she is only seventeen years old. So I offered to mentor her just so I wouldn't lose her. Then seeing her ever day and getting to really know her and her really know me. It's something I can't even begin to explain. No one has ever known me the way you do. Not even you, Tasha. Soon I found myself living for our trainings. Each touch, no matter good or bad each word she said to me no matter sarcastic or loving would make my stomach flip and my heart beat fast. I found myself losing my control around her and wishing for her to touch me or I would slip a little and run my fingers through her hair. I loved every minute I was with her. Even the times that were not so good.

Then, there was the night that Lissa was kidnapped. Victor had put a lust charm on a necklace he had given Rose and we nearly went too far. Even now, I wish I could go back and make love to her. I wanted to make love to her that night, with or without the charm. I am afraid of her and yet I don't know if I could ever live without her. I mean, I have even thought that if it came down to it, I would leave guarding the Moroi behind for good, just to have a life with my Rose." I sighed. "I know this sound horrible, but she has done something to me and there is no going back now."

Tasha looked at me with nothing but compassion in her eyes. "Well, I think that you and Rose would be great together. She may be young, but age is nothing but a number. When two souls are drawn together, there is no fighting it. To me, it sounds like you have found the other half to soul and that's why you are feeling the way you are feeling."

I looked over at her. "I don't know if she feels the same about me. I know she is attracted to me, but I don't know if there is more to it than that."

Tasha laughed. "Trust me Dimka; she feels the same for you too. I have seen the way she looks at you and talks to you. I can see nothing but love in her eyes for you. I do suggest that you don't wait too long to tell her how you feel though. That Rose of yours has a lot of admirers. Mason sure seems intrigued by her."

"Yeah, he is the least of my worries. It seems that Lord Ivashkov has found an interest in my Roza. If he even thinks of trying something with her, I may go to jail for the rest of my life and never get the chance to tell her how I feel."

Tasha laughed. "I know you better than that. You won't do anything that rash. But I do want you to be happy Dimka, even if it's not with me. I can tell Rose will give you the happiness that you deserve." She smiled sadly and kissed my cheek. Then she walked away leaving me with my thoughts of a love that was forbidden in so many ways, but even I couldn't deny it. I would tell Rose how I felt as soon as this trip was over. Two weeks was now sounding like an eternity.

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**Don't forget to review....*looks at scissors and at daughter* she's evil with them i tell you, she cad do damage. If you want Dimitri to live you better press the review button....hahahaha *Laughs evilly* okay it's really late i think i need sleep. Thanks for reading!**


	15. Chapter 15

This is an extreamly long chapter i know. I hope you like it. **My daughter hasnt gotten ahold of the scissors thank goodness, but if i dont get reviews hehehe she just might *Evil grin***

**anyways, i do not own va or it's charectos. Richelle Mead does!**

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Chapter 14-

Just a few hours after Tasha left me on the frozen pond all hell broke loose. Albert came pounding on my door. When I opened it I could tell it was all business. Something had happened and it was not good. "There has been another Strigoi attack," she said. "Meet in Guardian Hathaway's' room in five minutes." She turned and walked away.

I quickly got dressed and headed out. As soon as I got to the main hall I could see panic written on everyone's faces. People were running around trying to find loved ones and on the phone trying to call family and friends that were not with us at the lodge. I was extremely pissed off at this point. It was a useless loss of life and we had lost more guardians. Our numbers were low enough as is. I shook my head and headed in the direction of Janine's room.

The door was opened when I arrived so I just walked in. She and several other guardians were sitting quietly looking at a map of California. "I just don't understand what's in it for them," one of the guardians said. "I mean, why would a human help Strigoi? It just doesn't make sense."

"The opportunity for eternal life. The status of being one of the immortal few is the reason that they are helping." Everyone looked over at me truly shocked at what I had said.

"You think that they are promising humans immortality for their help?" asked Alberta walking up behind me. I nodded. "It's the only thing that makes sense. It also means that no one is safe, even with the wards in place." An unusual look crossed the faces of all the guardians in the room, fear. They all knew I was right.

"We are going to have to move fast and figure out who is responsible. We have to stop them before they can plan anymore attacks." Everyone started to move around the room and soon it was a literal headquarters. There were pictures and maps on the walls. We were having all information from the attacks being faxed to us and we sent out extra guards around the grounds.

Soon we had a flood of information coming in. "No one made it out alive," said Rimsky pulling a sheet of paper off the fax machine. He handed it over to Janine whose face turned sullen for a moment.

I looked up and saw Rose and Lissa come in and sit down on a small sofa out of everyone's way. I could tell that Rose was determined to find out anything she could and Lissa was terrified. I gave them a quick nod and turned my attention back to my work. As much as I would like to go over and comfort them, this was more important. Lives were at risk and we had to come up with some strategies. I was happy that Rose just stayed where she was and didn't try to bud in. Things were crazy enough as is

Janine sighed bringing my attention back to the issues at hand. She put down a file and shook her head. "There has to be more than last time," she said.

"More?" exclaimed another guardian. "That last group was unheard of. I still can't believe nine Strigoi managed to worked together-you expect me to believe they managed to get more organized still?"

"Yes," Janine snapped. I could tell she was feeling helpless.

A few more guardians came in to talk to Janine. They were eager to find anything out that they could. "Any evidence of humans?" one of them asked.

Janine nodded slightly. "Yes. More broken wards. And the way it was all conducted…It's identical to the Badica attack."

I looked over to Rose and Lissa. Rose had gone two shades paler and I could tell that she was remembering that day we found the bodies. She was terrified, but really, she had handled it much better than I thought she would. Rose took a deep breath and placed her hand over Lissas'. I knew she was being strong so the princess wouldn't fear unnecessarily.

Janine was shaking her head when I looked back at her. "We don't have forensic details yet, but the same number of strigoi couldn't have done this. None of the Drozdovs or their staff escaped. With five guardians, seven Strigoi would have been preoccupied-at least temporarily- for some to escape. We're looking at nine or ten, maybe."

"Janine's right," I said looking some blue prints. "And if you look at the venue…it's too big. Seven couldn't have covered it."

The Drozdovs were one of the twelve royal families. They were large and prosperous. They had plenty of family members, but a loss like this was still a tragedy. I couldn't help but wonder if the Strigoi were evolving. Never before the Badica attack had they ever banded together like this. They were temperamental and would kill each other for no real reason. I didn't mind them killing each other at all; I mean it just meant one less Strigoi walking around the world. I just couldn't get my mind around this at all. If they were evolving and working together on top of getting help from humans…no one would be safe anywhere. Things were definitely changing and not for the better.

"First the Badicas' and now the Drozdovs," muttered one of the guardians. "They're going after royals." My head shot up. "They are going after Mori," I said. "Royal, non-royal. It doesn't matter."

I heard rose gasp. I looked over and her eyes were wide and sad. She bit her lip and I could tell she was trying to control herself from something she knew was stupid. I looked back over at the papers and started handing out files to the guardians in the room. We all needed to be prepared and study everything that happened today. Soon the room started to clear and the guardians went back to their charges or went on duty. Vacation for us, was officially over.

A few minutes later, Rose jumped up off of the sofa and walked over to us. Janine looked over at her surprised to see her there. "Rose," she said surprised. "What are you doing here?"

I looked between the two of them trying to figure out if the tension was getting to be too much. I would have to step in if it did. There was no time for more black eyes.

Rose pointed at the clipboard in Janine's hand. "Who else was killed?"

I could see irritation in Janine's eyes. She really didn't want to deal with her daughter right now. "Drozdovs," she said.

"But who else?"

"Rose, we don't have time-"

"They had staff, right? Dimitri said non-royals. Who were they?"

I could see the hurt in Janine's' face. She took these deaths to heart and I knew she felt bad that she wasn't there to help. "I don't know all the names," she said. She flipped through a few pages and turned the clip board towards Rose. "There," she said.

Rose scanned the list. After a few moments her face fell and she nodded. "Okay," she said. "Thanks." She looked over at Lissa, took her hand and walked out of the room.

I was curious to why she wanted to see the list so bad. I picked up the clipboard and scanned through the names. I knew most of them, but I know Rose wouldn't have. Then I came across one name, that I knew she would have known anywhere, Rinaldi. I shook my head. It was Mia Rinaldis' mother. She worked for the Drozdovs and was on the list. Mia was probably Lissa and Roses worst enemy, but I knew they wouldn't have wanted this to happen to her. No one would want something like this to happen, even if it was to their worst enemy.

I sat the clipboard down and turned my attention back to conversation.

Later that evening, a meeting was being held to talk about the day's events and what might be done in the future. Nothing would actually be decided here, but with so many important Moroi at the lodge anything discussed here would make its way up the chain. Everyone's future and safety could very well depend on what was said here.

I walked in to quite a sight. Everyone was crammed in the room. It was large, but not quite large enough. Students, a few guardians and Moroi filled the room and took places wherever they could find the room. I saw Rose sitting with her friends and went over to sit on her other side. She looked over at me obviously surprised that I was there, but said nothing. I had a million things I wanted to say to her, but I kept my mouth shut and just looked forward.

A few moments later, the meeting started. I didn't really pay attention to much. There was a lot of arguing on where people should live whether it be in large communes or whatever. I didn't really care how or where they lived, so long as I could protect them and they stopped dying. I could hear Rose muttering something about people finding out about vampires and having lots of interaction then, but my focus was turned back to the next speaker.

"The problem is, we simply don't have enough guardians," said a woman from the Szelsky family. "And so the answer is simple," she continued. "Get more. The Drozdovs had five guardians and that wasn't enough. Only six protect over a dozen Moroi. That's just unacceptable. These kinds of things keep happening."

She went on to say that we should start putting guardians out by the time they are sixteen. That way we could have more guardians in the ranks sooner than later. This was really making me mad. All it would mean was that we would have more kids out there getting killed because they were not prepared enough to do this job. I also didn't think it was fare to ask them to grow up even faster than they already had to. It was just ludicrous. This whole conversation was just stupid. I tuned it out until I heard a laugh that I would recognize anywhere.

I looked over to Tasha who had a very amused look on her face. She glanced at the mediator. "May I?" He nodded and she got up. Instead of voicing her opinion from her seat, she walked up to the podium where everyone could see her. She was so determined.

I straightened up in my seat ready to support her in anything she wanted. She was my best friend and she supported me in everything I did.

"Those women aren't here, Monica, because they're too busy raising their children- you know, the ones you want to start sending out to the front lines as soon as they can walk. And please don't insult us all by acting like the Moroi do a huge favor to the dhampirs by helping them reproduce. Maybe it's different in your family, but for the rest of us, sex is fun. The Moroi doing it with dhampirs aren't really making that big of a sacrifice."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw rose looking at. I'm pretty sure I saw disgust on her face. After a moment it softened. I glanced over to see what she was looking at. Just beyond me was sitting Mia. I could tell that she had been crying and I felt really bad for her. She was so young to feel this kind of pain. She looked so helpless and I could tell that Rose was even feeling bad for her. I turned back to the conversation hoping that Mia would somehow find peace.

"And the reason we're waiting for these guardians to turn eighteen is so that we can allow them to enjoy some pretense of a life before forcing them to spend the rest of their days in constant danger. They need those extra years to develop mentally as well as physically. Pull them out before they're ready, treat them like they're parts on an assembly line- and you're just creating Strigoi fodder."

I heard some gasps from some of the other Moroi. I could tell they didn't approve of her choice of words, but I don't think she could have said it any better. She was completely right.

"You create more fodder still if you try making the other Dhampir women become guardians. You can't force them into that life if they don't want it. This entire plan of yours to get more guardians relies on throwing children and the unwilling into harm's way, just so you can – barely - stay one step ahead of the enemy. I would have said it's the stupidest plan I've heard, if I hadn't already had to listen to his." Tasha pointed to the first speaker who had wanted the Moroi to live in compounds. I had to stifle and laugh. She was completely right in everything she was saying.

"Enlighten us then, Natasha," he said. "Tell us what you think we should do, seeing as you have so much experience with Strigoi."

I tensed. He had gone too far. Tasha was not the one who turned strigoi. She would never even consider it. I was sick of these narrow minded asses thinking that at any moment she and Christian would suck one of them dry and turn into one of those soulless monsters.

A small smile was playing on Tasha's lips, and I was proud that she didn't rise to the insult. She was stronger than that.

"What do I think?" she walked closer to the front of the stage looking at all of us as she answered his question. "I think we should stop coming up with plans that involve us relying on someone or something to protect us. You think there are too few guardians? That's not the problem. The problem is there are too many Strigoi. And we've let them multiply and become more powerful because we do nothing about them except have stupid arguments like this. We run and hide behind the dhampirs and let the Strigoi go unchecked. It's our fault. We are the reason those Drozdovs died. You want an army? Well, here we are. Dhampirs aren't the only ones who can learn to fight. The question, Monica, isn't where the Dhampir women are in this fight. The question is: Where are we?

Tasha's voice had risen into a commanding tone by now and her energy was washing through me in the most amazing ways. I looked around and saw several novice and Moroi student faces gleaming with excitement at the prospect of being able to fight beside each other. I looked over to see Mia watching Tasha with such eagerness that I thought she might burst.

"Surely you aren't suggesting the Moroi fight alongside the guardians when the Strigoi come?" questioned Monica.

Tasha looked her straight in the eyes. "NO. I'm suggesting the Moroi and the guardians go fight the Strigoi before they come."

A young Moroi shot up from his seat. I could see the disgust of what Tasha was saying written on all over his face. "Oh," he said in a very mocking tone. "So, you're going to give us clubs and stakes and send us off to do battle?"

Tasha shrugged. "If that's what it takes, Andrew, then sure." Tasha turned on a sly smile. I had a feeling I knew what she was going to do. "But, there are other weapons that we can learn to use, too. Ones the guardians cant."

Andrew gave her a look that told everyone he thought she was insane. "Oh yeah? Like what?

Tasha's grin spread across her face. She was so beautiful when she was in the heat of an argument. Fighting for what she believed. Her eyes shown with passion and hope for a better future for all of us. Not just the Moroi, but for the Dhampirs as well.

"Like this." Tasha waved her hand and the sweater that the young Moroi had placed on the back of his chair burst into flames. He screamed, like a little girl if you ask me, and threw his sweater to the ground, stomping out the flames.

Tasha's smile was smug and ready. She knew that this would cause a shift if the way Moroi thought. The ties would be split. Some would be willing to go fight along with the guardians, while others would argue that she was setting them up to become lunch for the strigoi. She didn't care what they thought. She just wanted the Moroi to know there was another option.

After a few moments of utter silence, all hell broke loose. It was the beginning of something new. A beginning that may change the way of the Moroi and Dhapmers forever.

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**snip snip snip lol be kind and review!**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 15-

Chaos that is the word I would use to explain what happened in that room. Everyone wanted their opinions voiced, but no one wanted to wait to have their opinion heard. So instead of it being civilized everything turned into crazy mode. Even the mediator gave up and left. Nothing more would be accomplished here. I got up and looked over at Rose and Mason. "You might as well leave. Nothing more is going to happen now." They got up to leave, but Mason shook his head. "You go on," he said. "I want to check something out." I could tell by the look on his face that he wanted to be in the fore front of this movement. I had to give him credit. Rose looked around and shrugged. "Good luck."

Rose followed me into the hall. It had only been a few days since I had last talked her, but with all the horror our world had been thrown into it seemed like a lot longer. My heart was beating fast and my palms were sweating. I turned around contemplating what I would say to her. What I really wanted to say was just going to have to wait, but I had to say something. Rose looked up at me with an extremely pissed off look plastered on her face. I was a little taken back. The last few times I had seen her she was mad at me. Not like annoyed mad, but I want to cut your head off and feed it to the Strigoi mad. I really didn't know what was going on.

"Shouldn't you be in there protecting Tasha before the mob gets her," she spat. "She's going to get in big trouble for using magic like that."

I didn't understand where all of this was coming from. "She can take care of herself," I told her.

"Yeah, yeah, because she's a badass karate magic user. I get all that. I just figured since you're going to be her guardian and all…"

"Where did you hear that," I interrupted. "Now I get it," I thought to myself. Of course she would have heard the rumors. Everyone else had. Damn it!

"I have my sources." She was really starting to sound childish. "You've decided to right? I mean it sounds like a good deal, seeing as how she's going to be giving you fringe benefits."

I gave her a stern look. "What happens between her and me is none of your business." I really wanted to tell her that no, I was not going to take the offer because I was in love with someone else. That my heart belonged to Rose and only Rose, but this was not the right time. Not when she was acting like this, and definitely not when people were walking all around us.

"Well, I'm sure you guys'll be happy together. She's just your type too. I know how much you like women who aren't your own age. I mean she's what, six years older than you, seven. And I'm seven years younger than you."

My temper was starting to flare. I wanted to yell at her that there was no one, not anyone that could take her place. That she held my heart and nothing would ever change that. I took a deep breath. "Yes, you are. And every second this conversation goes on, you only prove how young you really are."

Roses jaw hit the floor. I saw pain and sadness in her eyes. I regretted what I had said the moment it came out of my mouth. I was such a fool sometimes. I never wanted to cause Rose any pain, but here was hurting her probably worse than she had been hurt in a long time. I'm such an idiot!

"Little Dhampir," a voice rang out from behind Rose. She turned around to a smiling Adrian Ivashkov. He nodded towards me and I wanted to jump on him and beat his head into the ground so hard that even Lissa couldn't heal him. I could not believe he was actually going after Rose. He could have any one he wanted, but he chose her. I clenched my fists trying to control my anger.

"I don't want to interrupt or anything," he said looking between the two of us with a smug smile. I really wanted to smack it off his face. "I just wanted to talk to you, when you have time," he said looking back at Rose. "Oh hell no," I thought. "Rose is not going anywhere with you. She is going back to her room where I am going to board it up and guard it with my life until it's time to go back to the academy."

I could see the wheels of deception turning in Roses head. She got a defiant look on her face and turned back towards Adrian. "I've got time now," she said placing her hand on his arm and steering him in the opposite direction. "See you later, Guardian Belikov." And with that, she was gone.

I watched her retreating figure round the corner. My heart sunk in my chest. I was truly wondering if I would ever get my Rose back. I knew in the back of my mind that Rose would never fall for Lord Ivashkovs charm and money. I knew she was just trying to hurt me, like I had hurt her. Really, I disserved it and much more.

I turned and headed back in the direction of my room. I just wanted to be alone before I had to go on shift. Actually, what I wanted to do was follow Rose and drag her away from the man whore, who had set his eyes on her. Then I wanted turn Adrian Ivashkov into my personal punching bag. It's too bad he's the queens' great nephew. I really don't think she would like it much if I screwed up his pretty little face. That would probably get me jail time. Hell if she knew what I was thinking I would probably get jail time. Shaking my head, I decided to be a bigger person and just walk away. My heart was breaking, my world was being turned upside down, everything I thought I had ever wanted and needed was being challenged and to top it all off, all of the sudden I really missed home. Life just sucked.


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey guys...so i just have to say filler chaps are really hard to write, but i thought this might be a fun twist to throw in. Thank you all so much for the amazing reviews. They truly are what keep me inspired to write. I put the scissors out of reach of my daughter...for now lol, so keep up the reviews and lets see if we can get to 90. **

**Normal disclaimer applies.**

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Chapter 16-

I found myself heading in the direction of the gym instead of my room. I suppose my feet knew I needed to let off some steam before I even attempted to get some sleep. I walked in and went right for the punching bag that was hanging in the corner. "Perfect", I thought to myself. I walked over not even bothering to wrap my hands before I pulled back and punched as hard as I could. I then let out another and another and another. I have no idea how long I had been at it when I heard someone moving towards me. "Impressive." It was Alberta. "Tough night?" she asked leaning against the wall next to me. "I just needed to let off some steam. With everything going on, I just needed to do something," I told her. It's a good thing I was a good liar. Albert nodded deep in thought. I was really hoping she was putting things together about Rose and me because right now I really couldn't handle that.

She looked over at me with a hint of something I couldn't quite place. "You're doing amazing with Hathaway. I can't believe the change in her," she said. I grunted in response. "Some change," I thought thinking back to our little argument not long ago. "She seems to be maturing and is turning into a great guardian. I didn't think that she could catch up with her peers after two years away, but she has. And not only has she caught up she has begun to surpass them." I looked over at her a little shocked. I knew Rose was damn good, but I didn't think others were taking notice. "I don't know what you did, but whatever it is, keep it up."

I had to swallow the laugh that was trying to escape. I really didn't think that she would appreciate me keeping it up, if she only knew. Alberta nodded over at me with a smile and headed towards the door. Before she left I called out. "Thank you Guardian Petrov." She nodded at me and left the room. I took one last swing at the punching bag before I headed out as well.

Back in my room I turned the heat up in my shower all the way. It felt good on my sore muscles. I was always so tense. I leaned my head up against the tile wall closing my eyes. "What have you gotten yourself into?" I asked myself. I stayed in the shower for a long time. I didn't want to ever get out, but exhaustion was quickly winning that battle. I got out of the shower and looked at myself in the mirror. I felt like I had aged a hundred years in the past year. Between losing my charge and the situation with Rose it made sense. I shook my head and headed to bed.

I think I was asleep before my head even hit the pillow. However, my dreams were definitely not sweet.

I entered a house I had never seen before. I was in a group of around fifteen other guardians. It was a large group and that rarely happened. We were on a rescue mission. We were checking the house. It was large and there was blood everywhere. Someone had definitely put up a good fight. I heard crying coming from the basement. I radioed to the other guardians and had backup in a matter of seconds. With my stake in hand I slowly opened the door and made my way down the stairs.

The basement was a maze of rooms. All empty. I opened a door near the end of the hall to see two Strigoi laying dead burned. "Ozera", I though. I moved on to the next room to find a human with his throat cut and another with a gunshot to his heart. "Rose," I said to myself. This is a good sign. I kept going, Hathaway, Petrov, and Rimsky following close behind.

I heard the crying coming louder now and made my way slowly to the room while the other checked the rest. I slowly opened the door at the ready for anything that might spring at me. An intake of air and muffled sobs floated to my ears. I opened the door all the way and was attacked my Mia and Christian. I grabbed at them. Mia realizing I was not a threat fell into my arms loud sobs escaping her. Christian collapsed to the floor. Eddie was in the corner unconscious. I could see bite marks on his neck and my anger spiked. Rose and Mason were nowhere in the room. I quickly checked Mia and Christian to make sure there were no serious injuries. When I was satisfied I looked at them in the eyes. They were so full of pain and sorrow, fear and regret. "Rose?" I whispered. They shook their heads and Mia started crying harder. My heart sunk into my chest. She was either dead or Strigoi. "Mason?" Christian looked up at me eyes empty. He shook his head. My world seemed to be crashing down.

I took them out of the house and returned to continue my search of the upper levels of the house. When I was getting to the last room I heard a commotion. It seemed like someone was scratching at the door. Stake in hand, I radioed down to the others and opened the door. Mason was bound and gagged, but alive. Tears running down his face as looked down at Rose. I walked over to him and took out his gag. "You have to leave," he said. Just then I heard someone behind me. I turned around hoping for my back up. Instead of back up I was looking into the eyes of Rose. The brown eyes I loved so much now ringed in red. She was Strigoi.

I bolted out of bed, covered in sweat. My heart was hammering a million miles a minute and I was physically shaking. The dream was so real, I was wondering if I was having one of those visions my grandmother would have. She used to tell me all the time, I had a special gift that would become clear in a time of crisis. Could this be what she was talking about? The thought of losing Rose was too much for me to handle. I put my face in my hands and for the first time since I was just a child, I cried.

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**Remember to review or the scissors come back out! **


	18. Chapter 18

**Yup, Dimitir has finally lost it and gone batty. Oh well. Lets get me to 95 reviews guys...eyes the scissors...evil laugh. Anyways here is tis chapter 17 it's really long, but i know that's the way you like them. **

**Normal disclaimers apply. Enjoy and review. I love ya guys! You are so amazing and i couldnt do this without you! So, i want each of you to hug yourselves cause it's a vertual hug to ya!**

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Chapter 17-

The next morning I headed to Janine's room to see if there was any more information. I spent several hours going over what had come in since I had left the day before. Some of the information was hard to wrap my mind around. Janine finally left to go on duty so I decided to take a walk outside and maybe figure some of this out. My mind was in its own little world when a familiar voice rang in my ears.

"Don't send me anymore gifts." It was Rose and she was irritated. I felt bad for whoever she pissed off. I know from experience you don't want to be on the other side of pissed off Rose.

"It's not a gift. It's a public service. What woman doesn't own perfume?" The sound of Adrian Ivashkovs voice made my skin crawl and I suddenly had a picture of him as my punching bag again. What the hell was he doing sending Rose gifts…and perfume? That was not something you just went and bought a random person. That was like boyfriend to a girlfriend type gift. SO, it's final, I am taking Rose locking her in her room and boarding it up. I'll guard it with my life and then when it's time to go I'll shove her in my duffle so she can never see that man whore again. Yep, that's what I'm going to do. It's settled.

"Don't do it again," she said with more annoyance in her voice.

Good girl, now just punch him. Once wouldn't be that bad. You won't get into that much trouble and I'll make sure you get out of it. Wow, my thoughts have turned violent lately. What is she doing to me? Guardians face Belikov, Guardian face. It's time to step in and abate this situation. I took a deep breath and headed in the direction of their voices.

"Rose? Is that you?" Well hell. What was wrong with this dude? Not only is he after Rose, but Lissa too. That guy's is just sick. Now I don't give a damn, he's mine and I will make him hurt.

"What are you doing here?" Rose asked almost accusingly.

"What are you doing here?" Lissa asked.

"Ladies, Ladies. No need to fight over me."

That's right Ivashkov because when I'm done with you there will be nothing to fight over you sick sick perv.

"Were not, I just want to know what's going on here."Rose hissed.

I stepped around the corner just as she said this. Giving my best pissed off face I could muster. I hoped it looked like death had arrived. "Me too," I said in a low gruff voice. Rose jumped and spun around. I was actually surprised I had caught her off guard. Point for me. I guess I was going to have to give her some more training on always being on guard and alert.

Rose looked at me obviously still pissed off. Great just what I need right now. Now she is probably going to rip Ivashkovs' cloths off in front of me, just to get a reaction. Well, guess what Rose dear, it's not going to work. I know what you're up too. I know this little game you're playing with me.

I didn't falter in my look of death. I looked between the girls and Adrian. "Male and female students aren't supposed to be in each others rooms." I said with as much venom I could muster. This would have actually been kind of fun if he had actually coward a little to my threat, but noooo, no such luck for me. He just had a smug look on his face. The one that says I'm above the rules Dhampir. Jerk, I so am going to punch that look off your face. You just wait. Shit, what is up with my temper? What happened to the so called control I had? Oh, yeah, Rose happened. Damn her.

"How do you keep doing this?" Rose practically screamed.

"Doing what?" By the look in Ivashkovs eyes, he knew exactly what she was talking about. And if he didn't cool it a bit, he would be both of our punching bags. What? I can't let Rose have all the fun.

"Keep making us look bad!" Now Rose was screaming.

Adrian let out a low laugh. I had to clench my fists to my side to keep from decking him. "You guys are the ones who came here," he said.

"You shouldn't have let them in," I informed him in my best guardian mentor voice. "I'm sure you know the rules at St. Vladimir's."

Adrian looked from the girls up to me and shrugged. Smug little bastard will die. Okay so probably not die, but hurt very, very badly, and I will be the one to cause said hurt. "Yeah, but I don't have to follow any school's stupid rules."

I clenched my teeth together. "Perhaps not, but I would have thought you'd still respect those rules."

Adrian rolled his eyes at me. He really had a death warrant. It took everything I had to not punch him right there. "I'm kind of surprised to find you lecturing about underage girls," he said. I nearly choked. How the hell could he even know anything about that. I looked over at Rose who looked as horrified as I did. "Besides," he continued. "Nothing sordid was going on. We were just hanging out."

"If you want to hand out with young girls, do it at one of the public areas," I spat. Of course in the back of my head I was screaming for him to go and jump off the roof head first. I would buy popcorn and a ticket to see that.

Rose was looking at me with her 'I'm going to kill you' look. I just glared back at her. I had heard the reason she was there, but I was still not happy about it. All the sudden Adrian let out the most 'I'm crazy' laugh I had ever heard. "Young girls? Young girls? Sure. Young and old at the same time. They've barely seen anything in life, yet they've already seen too much. One's marked with life, and one's marked with death…but they're the ones you're worried about? Worry about yourself, Dhampir. Worry about you, and worry about me. We're the ones who are young."

WOW…what the hell was that. This guys is nuts. If I ever see him around the girls again I am going to actually have an excuse to hit him. He's a loony and needs some serious help. I would only be protecting the princess and Rose. No one could hold it against me. I looked over at the girls while my mind was doing its own thing again. They were both staring after Adrian who had looked back at them and pulled out his cigarettes. "You ladies should probably go. He's right. I am a bad influence."

Umm, yeah, you think? That's what I had been saying the whole time you freaking loon. The girls looked over at me and practically ran out of the room. "That was strange," Rose said once we were out of earshot of his room. "Very," I said. I wasn't sure there was much else to say about it.

When we reached the lobby area, I grabbed Roses arm. "Rose," I asked. "Can I talk to you?" She turned towards me with a haughty look plastered to her face. Wow, if looks could kill I would have been dead a long time ago. Rose turned and looked at the Moroi and their guardians that were bustling around trying to get out of there as fast as they could to find a safer place to be. Idiots. There is not safer place than here right now.

"That's Arian Ivashkov," I said to her.

"Yeah, I know," she said crossing her arms over her chest.

"This is the second time I have seen you with him."

"Yeah," she said aptly. "We hang out sometimes."

Oh, Rose, no not you. My dear sweet Roza. How could you have let him get his nasty little claws into your sweet perfect wonderful self? I didn't want her to see that this really upset me so I just arched my eye brow. I knew she loved that. "You hang out in his room a lot?" Say no Rose. You need to say no. If you don't want me to kill him you need to say no. Shit, she has the look of deviancy. What are you going to say Rose?

"What happens between him and me is none of your business," she spat out with a smug smile playing at her lips. I have to admit, I did not see her using that one on me. But I had her on that one. Ha take this Rose. "Actually, as long as you're at the academy, what you do is my business."

"Not my personal life. You don't have any say in that." Shit, think fast Belikov. Save her from herself.

"You're not an adult yet." Okay buy it cause you know I'm right. Wow, I was sounding immature as she did.

"I'm close enough. Besides, it's not like I'll magically become an adult on my eighteenth birthday."

"Clearly," I said. OH hell, what was I thinking when I said that. I'm a class one asshole.

Rose blushed. Actually blushed. "That's not what I meant. I meant-"

I had to keep my composure. I didn't want her to see me falter in her presence. "I know what you meant. And the technicalities don't matter right now. You're an academy student. I'm your instructor. It's my job to help you and keep you safe. Being in the bedroom with someone like that…well, that's not safe."

"I can handle Adrian Ivashkov," she muttered looking at the ground. "He's weird-really weird, but harmless." I wanted to shake some sense into her. The guy was a nut job. Did she not hear and see what he was like back there. My God was she trying to get a reputation? And trust me it would not be a good one. Whoa, little green monster on my shoulder. Well, crap. How is it that I am jealous of Lord drunk off my ass all the time? Oh yeah, that's right, he is going after my charge and my love. Adrian must die.

"Speaking of personal lives," Rose said interrupting my evil mind babble. "I suppose you were off to visit Tasha." I looked at Rose for a few moments. I really didn't like arguing with her. So I went with the truth. "Actually, I was visiting your mother." Her jaw nearly dropped off her face and rolled around on the floor. "You're going to hook up with her too?" Okay, can I smack her now? She was just pushing it. I might love the hell out of her, but damn she just didn't know when to stop. I don't think Janine would really mind all that much.

"No we were looking over some new data about the Strigoi in the Drozdov attack." Ha maybe that would shut her up. There are more important things in the world than her pettiness.

I could tell that worked immediately. She stood up straighter and dropped her arms. The sly smirk that was on her face fell to a serious look. "What did you find out?" she asked. I looked at her for a few moments wondering if I should tell her. Wondering if I could trust her with any information I had been entrusted with. I decided with something like this I could. "We've managed to track some of the Strigoi," I told her. "Or at least the humans with them. There were witnesses that lived nearby who spotted a few cars the group used. The plates were from all different states-the group appears to have split up, probably to make it harder for us. But one of the witnesses did catch a plate number. It's registered to an address in Spokane."

"Spokane?" she asked cynically. "Spokane, Washington? Who makes Spokane their hideout?" She had a point. Spokane sucked and it would probably be the last place one would think to look for a Strigoi hideout, but that is exactly why they chose it. I kept my face deadpan when I answered her. "Strigoi, apparently. The address was fake, but we have evidence that shows they really are there. There's a kind of shopping center that has some underground tunnels. There've been Strigoi sighting around that area."

I let what I had told her sink in for a few moments. Then she looked back up at me with a frown on her face. "Then…are you going to go after them? Is somebody going to? I mean, this is what Tasha's been saying all along… if we know where they are…"

I shook my head cutting off whatever she was saying. "The guardians can't do anything without permission from higher up. That's not going to happen anytime soon."

"Because the Moroi talk too much."

"Their being cautious," I told her.

I could see in her eyes that she was getting angry again. I really didn't want her to make a scene, but well, this is Rose we are talking about and when she gets mad, she tends to make a scene. "Come on, even you can't be careful on this one. You actually know where Strigoi are hiding out. Strigoi who massacred children. Don't you want to go after them when they least expect it?"

Yes, yes I do, but I am not irrational and spontaneous like you Rose. I don't take risks when it comes to other people lives. "It's not that easy," I told her instead. "We answer to the guardian council and the Moroi government. We can't just run off and act on impulse. And anyway, we don't know everything yet. You should never walk into any situation without knowing all the details.

"Zen life lessons again," she said with a sigh tucking her hair behind her ear. Damn, now I was jealous of her damn hand. I have issues and really should receive help. "Why did you tell me this anyway? This is guardian stuff. Not the kind of thing you let novices in on."

I looked at her for a few moments. Why had I told her all of this? Oh yeah, that's right because she is the bane of my existence and I can't help myself around her. Yep, that's it. But no way in hell was I telling her that. So I went in another direction and sighed. "I said a few things…the other day…and today that I shouldn't have. Things that insulted your age. Your seventeen…but your capable of handling and processing the same things those much older than you do."

Rose let a hint of a smile play at her lips. My heart fluttered that I could make her happy again after being the cause of so much pain and anger lately.

"Really," she asked.

I looked her in the eyes and nodded. "Your still really young in a lot of ways-and act young-but the only way to really change that is to treat you like an adult. I need to do that more. I know you'll take this information and understand how important it is and keep it to yourself." She looked up at me and nodded. I could tell she was thinking things over.

"Dimka," Tasha said as she walked up to us. She smiled when she saw Rose. "Hello Rose." The look on Roses face told me she was none to please to have Tasha here. "Hey," she replied coldly. I expected her to take her leave now but she just stood there looking between the two of us.

Tasha placed her hand on my forearm looking at me with some concern. "You have that look," she told me. I have a look? Well of course I have a look, I have several looks, but I didn't know Tasha knew what they were. "What look?" I asked. I softened my features a little and gave a small smile.

"That look that says you're going to be on duty all day."

"Really? I have a look like that?" I was trying to put a playful teasing ring to my voice. She nodded at me. "When does your shift technically end?" she asked.

I think I actually blushed a little. "An hour ago."

Tasha sighed. "You can't keep doing this. You need a break."

"Well, if you consider I'm always Lissa's guardian…"

"For now," she broke in. Oh shit, not good. Not with Rose standing right here. I looked over at her and could see her turning red and steam coming out of her ears. Her face hardened, but she kept quiet.

"There's a big pool tournament going on upstairs," Tasha continued. Oh, how I longed to play again. Damn it and being so responsible all the time. Sometimes I wish I was more like Rose. But that could be really bad at the same time. "I can't," I said with a small smile so she knew I really did want to. "Even if I haven't played in a long time. "

I looked over at Rose who had a shocked look on her face. What, did she think I didn't know how to cut loose and have fun? Jeeze Rose. And then the look changed. She put back on her defiant look and crossed her arms over her chest. She was glaring at me and shooting daggers at Tasha. Well crap!

"Come on then," she begged. "Just one round! We could take them all." I think I actually saw Rose roll her eyes out of the corner of my eye.

"I can't," I repeated. "Not with everything going on." Tasha's face fell. "No, I suppose not." She glanced over at Rose and smiled. "I hope you realize what a hard core role model you have here. He's never off duty." Her tone was teasing but Rose tensed and narrowed her eyes. I knew something snarky was going to come out of her mouth. "Well," Rose said copying Tasha's tone from earlier. "For now, at least."

Tasha looked between the two of use puzzled. I looked over at Rose with a disappointed look. I hoped it told her that she was heading down immature road again and to knock it off. "We're finished here Rose. Remember what I said." She looked at me eyes full of hate, pain, longing, I think every emotion she was capable of. "Yeah, she said as she turned away from me. "Definitely."

Again Rose walked away from me pissed off. I looked to where she had rounded the corner and sighed. Someday, I would figure her out and hopefully it would be before she caused me to do something stupid like bash my head into the wall or use Adrian as a punching bag.


	19. Chapter 19

**I would like to apologize for this taking so long to post. It has just been a horrible week. With that said, i would like to dedicate this chapter to Jeanie. She will be forever missed. I would also like to dedicate this to Anne who was an amazing women that cared more about life and her family than anything. I hope that they are resting peacefully in heaven. **

**Please enjoy this chapter. I'm sorry i will tell you now, it's not great, but like i said, it's been a horrible week. **

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Chapter 18-

I looked at myself in the mirror and grunted. I really hated having to wear my guardian dress attire. Pressed black slacks, white button shirt, black jacket and bow-tie just didn't suit me well. I really wonder who came up with this crap. I mean if a pack of Strigoi decided to attack do they really think we could fight our best in this? Yeah, I think not. I sighed and armed myself with my two stakes, gun, and taser before heading out the door. Tonight was going to be a long night.

I headed down the hall lost in thought when a hand gripped my arm. "Dimka, why so glum?" Tasha asked. I shook my head as an answer. I really didn't know what was going on in my head. "Well, perhaps I can make your evening a little better. How would you like to be my date for this occasion? I believe it would make it a little easier on the both of us."

I smiled over at her and squeezed her hand. "That sounds really nice, but I'm on duty. The princess will be attending tonight with Christian so I must be there as a guardian." I hoped I didn't upset her. I had been pushing her away a little. I didn't mean to it was just with everything going on, I was working extra hard. She gave a little frown and nodded. "I understand. I just wish you could take a break and have a little fun."

"I tell you what, how about I walk you down and get you seated and as soon as I can sneak away, I'll steal you for a dance."

Tasha's eyes lit up. "I would really like that. Thank you Dimitri." I nodded and really looked at her for the first time. She was amazing. Her dark hair was pinned up and curled with a few strands hanging down her shoulders. She had the most amazing teal blue dress on that was gathered in the front and fell down to the floor even with heels on. Her blue eyes shone and she smelled of freesias. She was intoxicating. "You really look beautiful tonight," I told her as I guided her down the hall. I could see her blush a little and smile. "Well, I supposed I should start playing the royal game if I want people to take me seriously and so I thought I should dress the part. "You don't need to act like a royal snob, Tasha. You need to be yourself. You are beautiful no matter what you wear and people are going to take you serious because you are right and they know it."

We walked quietly into the banquet room lost in our own thoughts. I knew that Tasha had feelings for me, but she cared more about what made me happy than her and it hurt me to know that I was the cause of her pain. It seems that I am the cause of a lot of pain lately. I walked her to her seat and pulled out her chair. Kissing her hand before she sat I gave her a small smile. "Remember to save a dance for me," I whispered in her ear. I saw a few looks were cast in our direction, but I brushed them off. I kissed Tasha's cheek and headed to my position by a side door out of sight.

Over the next hour people came in and took their seats or stood around mingling with one another. It was for lack of a better term dull. I was definitely back in guardian role. I could hear other guardians having small conversations through the annoying ear piece I had to wear. I rolled my eyes at most of it and just kept my eyes on the surrounding until I heard a "wowa" come through the earpiece. "Umm…Belikov, take a look at your student there. Hathaway is looking..." The statement was cut off by a really pissed of Janine. "If you want to live to see another day, I would suggest you do not finish your report on my daughter."

I looked around the room trying to see what they were talking about. I had a good view of the room from where I was but I couldn't see her. I kept searching, hoping that no one would notice. It was not something I wanted to get into. I finally caught sight of Lissa coming through the door smiling. She turned around and grabbed some ones hand and pulled her in through the doors. She was the most magnificent creature I had ever laid eyes on. She was my Roza. Her dress looked as beautiful as I had hoped it would and her hair fell around her shoulders. She bit her bottom lip that I could tell had just a hint of lip gloss and her eyes were smoky. She looked uncomfortable as hell and really I didn't blame her. She was the only Dhampir there as a guest and she was getting a lot of looks. I really hoped that Lissa knew what kind of friend and future Guardian she had in Rose.

Rose and Lissa took their seats at the table just as dinner was about to be served. I had to hide a smile watching her with the food. The servings were tiny compared to what she was used to. Moroi still have to eat, but they require a lot less than a Dhampir. Rose was definitely going to be finding something to eat after this was over. Lissa spoke with the people around her about politics and her future plans. Rose on the other hand just sat quietly and looked around nervously. I think she was trying to find the quickest escape route for when this was all over with. I didn't blame her, I was too.

After dinner Rose smiled and leaned over to whisper something in Lissas' ear. By the frown the fell on her face I got a sense she didn't like the answer very much. She and Lissa got up from the table and walked around the room greeting people and conversing. Okay, so it was Lissa doing all that. Rose just stood back like her shadow and didn't say much. At one point I could tell that they were getting involved in a rather heated argument. I couldn't hear what was going on, but it must have been intense. There was a large crowd gathered and Lissa was in the middle. I turned my ear piece up to listen, but unfortunately Benton didn't have his on. "Damn it, the one time I actually wanted someone to actually use theirs, and no, they couldn't," I thought. "What freaking good are they anyways?" I watch from my post not paying attention to anything going on around me. Hell a pack of Strigoi could be attacking right now and I wouldn't have even noticed because I was so focused on Rose. I saw her sigh and walk away once she was content the argument was over or Lissa was okay.

She walked over to a server who was walking around with a tray full of hors d' oeuvres and eyed it hungrily. I would know that look anywhere. Rose was perpetually hungry. Then, I what I saw next made me want to punch the wall. Adrian Ivashkov walked up behind her. He whispered something that made Rose pull her hand away from the food with a look of disgust.

"Hey, what's Ivashkov doing with your student Belikov?" I heard coming through my ear piece. "Really?" I thought. "How idiotic can you be? Everyone who had an ear piece could hear." I swear once this was over I was going to have a little talk with Gillespie about keeping his damn mouth shut. Freaking moron. "Earth to Guardian Belikov, are you seeing this? Ivashkov is practically purring over her. I mean that dress is looking pretty nice, but still I would intervene if I were you." I sighed at his stupidity. "Guardian Gillespie, I do see what is transpiring and I would be forever grateful if you would shut up on this thing. Everyone can hear how moronic you are sounding."

Everything went quiet, on the radio at least. However those standing within a ten foot radius could hear the shrill voice of Janine Hathaway loud and clear. "Rose!" Clearly she had heard everything that was said and was none too happy about it. I had a feeling that both Gillespie and I were going to get an earful about this tomorrow. Me for not stopping things sooner and Gillespie for talking so inappropriately about Rose. I think I was going to be on the easier end of things. His own fault for being such a moron. I sighed.

Well crap, this evening just took a turn for the worse…if that were possible.


	20. Chapter 20

**Wow, you guys are amazing readers. I have to say i love each and every one of you. Thank you so much for the reviews and the condolences. I have found that writing helps me forget so hopefully i will be able to post at least once a day or every other day. It seems i have found my outlet. So here is chapter 19. I hope you enjoy it. And once again. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for being so wonderful!**

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Chapter 19-

"What do you think you are doing?" screamed Janine.

"Nothing, I-"

"Excuse us, Lord Ivashkov," she practically growled and pulled Rose away from the party.

I couldn't believe that Adrian Ivashkov had managed to land Rose in trouble again. And to make it worse, she wasn't in trouble with me; she was in trouble with her mother. I walked over to Adrian and cleared my throat. "Excuse me Lord Ivashkov, do you have a moment?" He turned to me and raised his eyebrows. "And what can I do for you now, Guardian Belikov?"

"You can stay away from Rose Hathaway. I do not want to see the two of you together again. You are not a good influence on her and she doesn't need any more unwelcome gossip."

Adrian gave me a furtive smile. "I do beg your pardon Guardian Belikov, but I do believe it is not I that should back off. I have heard the idle gossip about a young romance of names I will not repeat."

"You have no place chasing her around like a love sick puppy. She has more important things to worry about than you. Now please excuse me and enjoy your evening." I turned and walked away without throwing a punch…that is what I like to call self control.

God I did not want to be polite to the likes of that booze blooded clove smoking royal. I left the banquet hall just in time to see Rose storm off. I only hesitated a moment before taking off after her. I decided to go ninja style so she didn't see me following her. I wasn't sure how she would react to that. I followed her until she came to a door at the end of the hall. She stood looking at it for a moment before sighing and going through. I decided to follow her because that door led to a set of stairs that went up to the roof. I knew she was going to get cold pretty quick and since Rose was stubborn as a mule she would not come down for a coat any time soon.

I waited for a minute before going up, giving her time to get to the roof. I didn't want her to know I was following her right now. It would have kind of defeated the whole ninja thing I was going for. Ok, so really, if she was paying any attention she would have figured out I was following her. Once again, I need to remember to have a chat with her about always keeping an eye on her surroundings. Seriously the way she was going she would be Strigoi dinner the moment she walked out of the safety of the academy.

I quietly made my way up the stairs to where Rose was. I opened the door and stopped for a moment to take her in. Even as irate as I knew she was, she was the most beautiful women I had ever seen. She was sitting on a part of a ventilation system with her arms wrapped protectively around her. I knew she would be too damn stubborn to go get a coat.

Her head shot up when she heard the crunching of my boots and looked back at me. I saw a little sparkle in her eyes that told me she was not mad at me for being there. She turned back to our surrounding scenery. It was majestic but nothing compared to her. After a moment I saw a slight shiver run through Rose. I slowly walked over to her and draped my coat over her shoulders.

"You must be freezing," I said as I took a seat next to her. She gave me a slight shrug in response. "The suns out." I sighed tipping my head back taking it in. It was a rarity that we got be in the sun and just enjoy it. Our life existed in the shadows and secrecy of night and I didn't mind so much, but at times like this, it was nice to just enjoy it. I looked back over at her. "It is. But we're still on a mountain in the middle of winter." She didn't say anything and I didn't push. Really it didn't require an answer. We just sat there on that roof top in complete comfortable silence. That was one thing I really enjoyed about being with my Roza, I could sit with her in complete silence and it was never uncomfortable or awkward.

Every so often a breeze would blow snow around us. It made Rose look like some beautiful angel sitting next to me wanting to save me from myself. I know I wanted to save her from herself. I could tell how bad she was hurting. It hurt me to see her like this. Maybe this was the time to tell her how I felt. To tell her how much I loved her and how I would do anything to make her happy if she would give me the chance. That's all I wanted, was a chance.

"My life is a disaster," she said breaking me out of my own thoughts. "It's not a disaster," I told her without hesitation.

"Did you follow me from the party?" she asked looking over at me.

"Yes." Well, there went my awesome ninja skills. I just gave it all away. "I didn't even know you were there," she said taking in my ridiculous attire. I nodded.

"So you saw the illustrious Janine cause a commotion by dragging me out."

"It wasn't a commotion. Hardly anyone noticed." I really hoped I was a better liar than Rose was. Because more than a few people noticed. "I saw because I was watching you." I looked over at Rose hoping she wasn't looking at me like I was some kind of crazy stalker. I mean, I know she likes me and all, but since we have been fighting so much I wasn't sure where we stood anymore. And once again she has me feeling like I'm a school boy with a stupid crush. But let me assure you this is not a crush. This is the truest love that could exist.

Rose sighed once more. "That's not what she said. I might as well have been working a corner as far as she was concerned." I had to hold back a little. That really pissed me off and now I was wishing I had just forgotten about Adrian and left as soon as she was drug out of the party. I could have always threatened Lord Asshole whenever I wanted, but now I was missing what was said to hurt my Roza so much. Of course a moment later Rose told me the entire story of what happened. It was harsh yes, but Janine wasn't exactly the maternal type. I got that she was more worried about Rose than anything and that was kind of sweet coming from Janine. "She's just worried about you," I told her.

"She overreacted."

"Sometimes mothers are overprotective."

Rose stared at me like I had lost my ever-loving mind. "Yeah, but this is my mother. And she didn't seem that protective, really. I think she was more worried I'd embarrass her or something. And all that becoming a mother too young stuff was stupid. I'm not going to do anything like that."

"Maybe she wasn't talking about you."

Rose stopped talking and silence fell in the air once more. Her jaw dropped open as she realized what I had just said.

I sat next to her looking out over the snow covered mountains waiting for her to let it all sink it. It was so peaceful here. I definitely could stay like this for a lifetime if Rose would stay with me.

After a few minutes Rose sighed. Her head shot back up and she looked over at me. "We aren't fighting right now." I had to throttle a laugh. Of course she just now realizes that we are not fighting. I gave her a sidelong look. "Do you want to fight?" I asked. She shook her head. "No. I hate fighting with you. Verbally, I mean. I don't mind in the gym." I let a small smile play on my lips. I couldn't cover it up. She was just so damn cute.

We sat there for a few more moments. I was happy to be there with her. I was happy that she wasn't mad at me anymore and I was happy that I was happy for the first time in a long time. Rose seemed to be the only one that could draw me from the dark place I kept hiding in. She was the sun that prevented the darkness from taking me over. My heart was swelling with so much emotion I thought it would burst.

"You should take it," she said.

I flinched. "What?"

Okay that was not expected and I was really hoping that she was not talking about what I thought she was.

"Tasha's offer. You should take her up on it. It's a really great chance."

My heart sunk into the pits of my stomach. I couldn't decide if she was just saying that because she really wanted me to be happy or if she just wanted me gone. I knew the truth, but it still scared me. Why did love have to be such a terrifying unknown?

"I never expect to hear you say anything like that," I told her. "Especially after-"

"What a bitch I've been? Yeah."

My jaw nearly hit the ground. I in no way shape or form ever thought she was being a bitch. Childish, insecure, petty, immature, yes. A bitch. Not ever. Rose tugged my coat tighter around her with a small frown playing on her lips, but I didn't know if it was because she was sad to let me go or if there was something else.

"Well. Like I said, I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want us to hate each other. And…well…" she squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them again. "No matter how I feel about us, I want you to be happy."

My heart was racing when she finished her statement. She really did love me didn't she? I was so stunned I couldn't say anything. I couldn't even tell her how I wasn't taking Tasha's offer and I was staying because I couldn't deny the love I had for her any longer. My ability to speak vanished. It took everything in my power to not grab her and lock her into the most passionate kiss I could. A kiss that would tell her everything I couldn't tell her with my nonexistent words. Yet, something told me I shouldn't, so I did my best to control it. So instead, I reached out and pulled her to me. "Roza," was all I could say. She rested her head on my chest. It was the most amazing feeling I had in a long time. I had missed this closeness. The innocent touches and sweet words that would be exchanged had been absent for too long. I hoped that this was just the beginning of those returning. I don't think I could live without them in my life again. It was a sad existence without them. It would be a sad existence if I didn't have my Roza by my side. This would be complicated I know. We were both slotted to guard Lissa and she disserved two fully committed guardians, but that was something we would work out when the time came. Right now, all I cared about was holding Rose in my arms and feeling her breath on my chest. It was an amazing feeling that was over too quickly.

Rose pulled away from me after only a few minutes and looked at me with a sad smile. There was something in her features that I had never seen before. I suppose it was the realization that she was maturing before my eyes. "Where are you going?" I asked.

"To break someone's heart," she said handing me back my coat. And then she walked through the door. I had a sense of loneliness after she left, but at the same time I was so proud of her and inspired by her that it didn't matter. I sat up on that roof looking out at the mountains that shone in the light of the sun. My Roza was in love with me and I had no doubt in my mind about it now. My heart fluttered hoping that my future would be happy and beautiful with her at my side. Of course then it hit me that I just sat there like an idiot and didn't say anything to put her at ease about my choice to stay with her. Sometimes I wondered about myself. I got up and decided it was time to tell her everything. It was time to put her at ease and make her happy. I was going to tell Rose that I was madly in love with her and nothing would ever change that.


	21. Chapter 21

**I would like to thank all of you for the awesome reviews. I am now over 100! This is amazing. You are all amazing and I love you all so much. The scissors are put away! So remember to review! I am sending you all virtual hugs and huge thank yous all around! **

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Chapter 20-

I sat on the roof for a few more minutes trying to arrange my thoughts. I wanted everything to be perfect and if I just rushed into it Rose was likely to think me a babbling fool. I decided to take her to the top of the mountain at sunset and take a walk into the woods. When we got there she would be surrounded by the light of the moon and as many candles as I could scrounge up. I would sit her down on a blanket and pour my heart out to her. I wanted to say all the right things so before I just blurted it out I was going to have to come up with something perfect. I went down to my room with an idea.

After scrounging around for a few minutes on the internet I found what I was looking for and jotted it down. Reading it over, I knew this was exactly what I would want to say to her.

_I carry your heart with me  
(I carry it in my heart)  
I am never without it  
(anywhere I go you go, my dear;  
and whatever is done  
by only me is your doing, my darling)_

_I fear no fate  
(for you are my fate, my sweet)  
I want no world  
(for beautiful you are my world, my true)  
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant  
and whatever a sun will always sing is you_

_here is the deepest secret nobody knows  
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud  
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows  
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)  
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart_

_I carry your heart  
(I carry it in my heart)_

It was my favorite poem by EE Cummings and I truly thought this would say everything I wanted to get across. I smiled and was about to head out the door when there was a knock. I opened it to see a very worried Stan.

"We are on lockdown. All students are gathered in the banquet hall until we have finished our search of the grounds and rooms." I looked at him confused. "What are we searching for?" Stan actually sighed and frowned. "We are missing three students that we know of. Mason Ashford, Eddie Castile and Mia Rinaldi." I nodded at him and walked out of the door all plans of my proclamation of love forgotten for the moment. "You need to go to the banquet hall and get a head count of the students there and then report back to us as soon as possible." I nodded my head and walked off to the hall.

I got to the banquet hall and climbed up to the podium. "Attention I need everyone to take their seats so we can get this taken care of." I looked around the room and didn't see who I was looking for. I began to panic, but decided that she was just in a corner or something. As I began taking names I got the sense of fear and sadness in the room. Three students were missing and no one knew what was going on. I kept calling names.

"Mason Ashford" no response. I knew there wouldn't be he was already known missing

"Alana Avery" Here…the list kept going until I got to Rose.

"Rosemarie Hathaway" no answer

"Rosemarie Hathaway" again no answer. My heart sunk as I looked up. Lissa was in the front sobs coming from her eyes. I skipped down a few names.

"Christian Ozera" again no answer. The sobs were louder now.

"Christian Ozera" no answer. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would beat right out of my chest.

I jumped down from the podium and ran out the door ignoring the rest of the names. I knew they were all there and accounted for. I saw them all there. Minus the now five missing students.

Running from the room, I felt like was going to fall over blind unable to get the oxygen I needed to keep going. My world was falling apart as I knew it. Rose was gone. The one person that kept me going. The one person that made life worthwhile. The one person I actually needed. The one person who kept me out of the darkness and saved me from myself. The person I never got to tell that I loved them more than any other person in the world. I would regret that for the rest of my life. If anything happened and I never got the chance to tell her, I don't think I would be able to bear it. I sank to the floor. Tears sprang into my eyes and I had to fight to keep them from spilling over. There was no time for tears now, I had to find Rose. I had to find them all and bring them home, all of them, but first I had to tell everyone they were gone.

I ran up the stairs two at a time not wanting to waist a single moment. The quicker we acted the faster we got them back. I just hoped that Strigoi weren't involved. That would complicate things. I pushed the thought out of my head and ran into the room. I stopped in the door and looked at everyone who turned to face me when I burst in. "Two more students are missing," I said trying to hide my breaking heart and frantic emotions. "Who is it?" Stan asked. I looked over at Janine and frowned. She gasped as I told them. "Christian Ozera and Rose Hathaway." All eyes turned to see Janine break for the first time in her life. Gillespie had to grab her to make sure she didn't fall. She was gasping for air and shaking uncontrollably. "She can't…I can't…why…I don't…" she couldn't form complete sentences. She was a mess and I couldn't have that. We needed her, Rose needed her. I walked over to her and pulled her to her feet. "We are going to find them! Do you understand me?" She nodded and looked up into my eyes. "I can't lose her. She is all I have in the world." The tears were running down her cheeks and she made no attempt to hide them or wipe them away. It was then that I realized how much this woman loved her daughter and it made me all the more determined to get her back. Rose truly had no idea how much she was loved by the people in her life. I took a deep breath and turned around to get things going.

"Mia, Christian, Eddie, Mason and Rose are missing. What do we know?"


	22. Chapter 22

**Again thank you all for the fantastic reviews!!! I hope you like this chapter. **

**Standard disclaimer. **

**Dont forget to review...we are getting close to the really good parts....dont make me be evil and not update haha*EVIL GRIN* **

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Chapter 21

I don't really remember much except pain. It burned in my heart making almost impossible to breath. I had fought Strigoi numerous times, but that fear was nothing in comparison. This fear was blinding, unnatural and it took everything I had not to give into it. I if I did there would be no coming back from it. I would be lost to the world and unable to help the person I loved most in the world and her four friends. No, I couldn't give into it. I needed to get my Roza back.

I looked at the white board where the pictures of our missing students hung along with their bios. A map of the surrounding area hung on the wall to its left. I shook my head trying to figure out where they had run off to. Everything came up a dead end. Lissa, the bus depot, everything. We were at a loss. I was angry. So angry and so hurt I couldn't even think straight. Janine was at a loss. I think she was thinking the worst and had begun to grieve the loss of Rose. She sat in that room day and night just staring at her picture and reading over her bio. She kept going back to the map mumbling to herself. "We're missing something," she would say.

We found out shortly after we found the kids went missing that they had not all gone together. In fact they left several hours apart. Something that didn't make sense to any of us. Mia, Eddie, and Mason left first. Mia was able to use compulsion on the guardian on duty to let them go. It wasn't great because he remembered, but too good, because they still got out. A few hours later there was a shift change and another guardian went on. He was found unconscious in the snow. It seems that Christian's compulsion sucked in comparison to Misas' and Rose was left with violence. She used the guardians Mag light to knock him unconscious. I was really regretting teaching her how to do that. Maybe it was my fault she was gone. If she didn't know how to do that she would be here now, safe, and we would only be worrying about three missing students not five. Frustrated, I shook my head again unable to stand here any longer. I ran out of the room.

I didn't stop running until I came to the one place I knew I could be myself and let it out. I knocked on the door and waited, but there was no answer. I tried the handle. It was unlocked. Walking in I found Tasha sitting in front of the window. Her head was down and her shoulders were shaking. She was crying silent tears. My heart broke again. I walked over to her and pulled her close allowing her cry on my shoulder. I stroked her hair and just let her cry it out. She needed it. I knew she was in pain. I knew she was scared. We were all scared. They had been gone for almost two days now without a word. "I can't lose him Dimitri. I can't go on without him. He is all I have in this world. I have nothing but him. After I lost his mom and dad, I just lived for him. I lived to keep him safe. And now he is out there and God only knows what's going on. I just don't understand why he left in the first place. I don't know what would possibly posses him to do something like this. I know he's strong, but I just can't lose him Dimitri. I can't." She started sobbing again. I kissed her hair my own tears starting to spill over. I couldn't hold them back. I pulled her away so I could look at her in the eyes. The blue eyes that used to hold so much life in them now held nothing but despair and pain. My heart broke again. "Tasha, I will find him. I will find all of them and bring them back. I promise if it is the last thing I do, we will get them back." Tasha shook her head. "Do not make me a promise you may not be able to keep Dimitri. They have been gone too long. I'm not stupid. I know that they have probably been taken by Strigoi or are dead by them." She turned away from me. "No, you cannot think like that." I nearly shouted. "Do not give up hope. I cannot do this alone. Everyone else has basically given up. I need you. You need me. We are going to get through this together. Please Tasha. I just can't." I was now openly crying. Pictures of Rose were dancing through my head. Every moment we had spent together played itself out. From the time I found her in Portland to the night of the lust charm. Her face was so beautiful but terrified the night we found the Badica massacre. I let the tears flow. I needed an outlet. I needed to get it out because if I didn't I would never find her and that was just not acceptable.

Somewhere in the midst of tears and pain and panic, both Tasha and I fell asleep. I didn't mean to fall asleep in her room, but both of our exhaustions won out. I faded into the peaceful abyss of my dreams only to find that it was going to be a long night of Roza dreams. This was not going to help my mood much, but I was sleeping nothing I could do about it.

A familiar scene appeared around me. It was the lobby of the lodge. Rose was standing in front of me with a look of guilt, understanding and determination. I knew that look. Something about this was too familiar. It gave me a sense of Déjà vu. I was not actually me in this dream. I was an onlooker. It was kind of creepy to watch me with Rose. I got a pang of want. I wanted to walk over to her and touch her hair and kiss her lips. I didn't care who saw us. I just needed her. I needed to feel her and smell her, and hold on to her and never let go. I needed to tell her I was in love with her. I needed to tell her how sorry I was for not telling her sooner. I needed to tell her everything before I lost her again. Before I lost her forever.

I was about to cross the small hall to her when Rose spoke. "Spokane?" she said incredulously. "Spokane Washington? Who makes Spokane their hideout?" She shook her head and I gasped. Could it be possible? Could she have told Mason where they were and he took off looking for them? Did she go after them? I had to wake up. I had to get into action. I couldn't wake up. My mind was screaming at me to wake up, but my body wouldn't listen. I was doing everything I could from bashing my head on the walls to throwing myself down a flight of stairs, but nothing worked. I was desperate. I was trapped inside myself and I didn't know how to get out. I finally sat down in the hall and cried. I couldn't help her if I couldn't even wake up.

I heard a scream that jolted me from my mind. "Finally," I thought jumping out of bed. Then it registered that it was Tasha screaming. I grabbed her and pulled her to me. "Christian," she sobbed. "I have to find him."

I looked over at her. "I think I know where they are. Do you trust me?" She nodded and I could see a sparkle of hope in her eyes. "Where?" she asked. "Spokane."


	23. Chapter 23

**here it is! chapter 22. Lets do a little better with the reveiws lol...i may be really mean and make you wait a few weeks for the next chap...hahahaha..i hold the power. Okay too much sweet crap for me. Anyways thank you all for the great reviews. We are down to the last few chapter. SNIFF SNIFF...i'm going to miss this! Of course i will be going back to writing Human Guardian for those of you who were wondering...YES i am going back to it, i just decided to finish this first. I hope you all check it out there are quite a few chaps already. So anywho enough of my blabble...enjoy and dont forget to hit the magic button at the bottom. The more times it's clicked the faster the chaps get posted. I love each and every one of you....THANK YOU!!!!**

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Chapter 22-

We rushed out of the room like two bats out of hell. We had to get to the others and move out as soon as possible. If they really were in Spokane, and I'm sure they were, we were running out of time. No doubt the Strigoi had them now.

As we rounded a corner we literally collided with Adrian. After he straightened himself he grabbed me by the shoulders looking panicked. "I've had contact with Rose," he nearly shouted. "They aren't doing well, we have to find them." I gave him a dumbfounded look. "What do you mean you have had contact with them? If they could make contact with us they would have done it a lot sooner. Now if you don't mind, we have students to find and I believe you are lacking you morning vodka." I turned to leave but he caught me by the wrist. "I am not trying to waste your time and I am not trying to get in the way. I just want to help find them and bring them home. Just hear me out…please?" I sighed. "Fine, but you better be able to keep up." Once we were on the move again Adrian started spilling everything he knew. "Rose looked tired and pale. She was confused, but she said she was in a basement. She woke up before I could get the rest of the information. But I know she is in a basement of a house." I rolled my eyes. "What do you mean she woke up? Are you saying that you talked to her in her dreams or something?" Adrian sighed. "Yes, I did. I am a spirit user. That is why I have been spending so much time with Lissa. Where she can heal, I can walk in people's dreams. I have been trying to get into Roses for the past two days, but she has been staying awake. And none of that matters, we just have to find what house in what city they are in and go get them."

I could see the real concern in Adrian's eyes. "They are in Spokane, and you very well may have narrowed down our search area. Thank you Adrian." He smiled and turned back to his room. "Where are you going?" I asked a little confused that he would just walk away and not try to pester us. "Spirit takes a lot out of a person. Like you said I have missed my morning Vodka. I will leave the rest up to you. Just bring them home. All of them." I watch as he walked away amazed at the sensitivity he was actually able to muster up. Shaking my head I grabbed Tasha's hand and ran down the hall. We had to move fast.

I burst into the room not caring what I was interrupting. "They're in Spokane," I shouted digging for maps of that area. "We are looking for them in residential areas a house with a basement." Everyone stood there looking at me like I had lost my mind. It really pissed me off and I snapped. "Don't just stand there! We have five missing students and we finally know where they are. Let's move. NOW!"

My heart was pounding and I felt like everything was moving in slow motion. My heart soared with the news that Rose was alive. I had no information about the others, but Rose was alive and if she was alive I had confidence that everyone else was as well. I just hoped they could hold on until we found them. We would bust down every door in Spokane if that is what it took to get them back. We would get them back.

Within an hour everyone was ready and loading the plane. We had fifteen guardians with us. It was almost unheard of, but we had no idea what we would walk into. There would also be another fifteen meeting us there that lived in the area. We would be prepared for just about anything that would come our way.

I sat next to Janine on the flight over. She was quiet and staring straight ahead. At one point I had to make sure she was breathing. "I'm fine," she said. "We just need to get them back." I nodded and she looked over at me. "How did you figure out where they were?" I frowned and took a deep breath. "Before the banquet, Rose and I were talking and I told her that I needed to start treating her more like an adult. That it would be the only way that she would start acting like one." Janine nodded. "So, I told her about what we had found in Spokane. She must have told Mason and one thing led to another. Janine I am so sorry. I should have never told her." She shook her head looking at her hands. "No, I'm the one who should be sorry. I didn't know how to be a mom to her. I left her in the hands of the academy to raise, to train, to mold into the guardian I hoped she would become. I always loved her, but I didn't know how to show her and now, now, it might be too late. I may never be able to tell her how proud of her I am and what a wonderful daughter she is." She took a few deep breaths to keep the tears from spilling over. "I may never be able to tell her how sorry I am that I wasn't there for her. I should have tried harder." Shaking her head she got up and walked to the bathroom.

After a while I couldn't handle the silence. I was getting agitated that we weren't there yet and that this damn plane wouldn't fly faster. I checked, double checked, and then tripled checked my weapons. I had three stakes, a gun, a taser, and two knives. Yes, I was over done, but like I said, we had no idea what we would find when we got to Spokane. Finally after what seemed like hours Janine made her way back to me and sat down. Her guardian face was back and I could tell she was mentally preparing herself for whatever we found. "She will be fine," I whispered. She only nodded in response. A few moments later, we were told to prepare for landing.

My heart thumped in my chest, and pulse was racing. I looked out the window trying to clear my mind. "More than Rose is out there Belikov. We have to find them all. We will find them all. They are all alive and all will be coming home," I kept telling myself.

Once we landed we piled into three cars and headed in the direction of the bus depot. Starting there might give us some clues as to where they might have gone after they got off the bus. I was driving and Janine was sitting next to me still as a statue. In fact everyone was quiet and still. No one said a word. No one seemed to hardly breathe. We just wanted to get our students back. I just wanted to get my Roza back and Christian back to Tasha. After everything she has done for me, I had to do this for her. I had to find him alive.

We were just about to the depot when my cell phone started to chirp at me. I grabbed it and looked at the number. I didn't recognize it, but it was a Spokane number. My heart hammered even harder in my chest. "Guardian Belikov," I answered. I heard a sigh of relief. "Guardian Belikov, it's Christian. We need help and we need it now. There has been a fight and…" I cut him off. "Where are you?" I asked panic seeping into my voice. There had been a fight and they need help. My heart sunk and my eyes were not wanting to work properly. "We're at 1812 west chestnut St. I don't know how t get here, but you have to get here now. Mason is dead, Eddie is out of it, and Rose is still in there with the Strigoi. She won't let us back in. Mia didn't listen she went back in and I don't know what's happening." I could hear the pain and panic in his voice. "We will be there as soon as we can. Stay on the phone with Janine, do you hear me, and do not go back into that house. None of you.

I slammed on the brakes causing us to swerve a little and turned around. Punching in the address to the GPS I found we were nearly an hour from them, but I would get us there in thirty minutes. I was glad that it was still the middle of the day for humans. Plenty of light was in the sky so I didn't have to worry about the Strigoi going after those that were not in the house. Now all I had to worry about was Rose. She was still in the house with Strigoi. She was alone and I feared she would not make it out alive. Christian didn't say anything about how many there were and that made it all the harder. I could hear Janine on the phone telling them where we were and when to expect us and that they were not to go back into the house. I could hear the fear in her voice for Rose. The same fear that seeped through every pour in my body. It was blinding and suffocating. We already lost Mason. That was too many in my book. And now Rose and Mia were in the house. What could have possessed her to go back into that house? I heard a sigh of relief and looked over at Janine. "Mia is back," she said. "She is alive." I couldn't help but think "What about Rose? Where is my Roza?"

The bile in my throat rose as we turned onto the street. At the end of a cul-de-sac sitting on the curb were Mia and Christina holding a passed out Eddie. We jumped out of the car and assessed the three students that were there. Eddie had been used to feed on and had lost a lot of blood. Mia just stared off into space. "She killed them," she said not looking at anyone. "She killed them." I looked up at the house. My heart sunk. She said she killed them, but what about her? Did they get her? I rushed to the house leaving the others in the capable hands of my fellow guardians. I heard footsteps behind me and knew that I had backup. I opened the door and took in the sight. There was blood everywhere. Shattered glass littered the floor and water soaked the carpet. But what got me the most was Rose. She was sitting on the floor head down crying. She was covered in blood and holding Mason in her lap. He was dead and from what I could see his neck had been broken. She looked up when she heard me step forward. "Rose?" I whispered. She was alive, but Rose was no longer there. My heart stopped beating and my life ended that moment. She would never recover from this. I didn't know how she would. I made myself walk forward slowly even though all I wanted to do was run to her and hold her. I wanted to kiss away her tears and tell her I would make it all better. But the truth was, I couldn't make this better. No one could. Rose for now, was lost to this world. She was a zombie walking around in a Rose costume. I prayed that one day I would find my Rose and bring her back to me. I vowed, not just or her or me, but for Janine, that I would find a way. She would get over this. My love for her would help and her love for me would bring her back.


	24. Chapter 24

**Wow! You guys are amazing with the reviews. I cant believe it is almost done. This has been such and awesome adventure and i couldn't have done it without your support. I am sorry it took so long to get this up, but yesterday was Thanksgiving and today well...black Friday. YIKES! So happy late thanksgiving to those of us who celebrate it and to those who don't i hope you had a great day regardless! I have been asked to write Shadow Kissed in Dimitri's POV. YES! I will do it, but i will be working on The Human Guardian as well, so updates wont be as often for it as it has been for this. Sorry, but I really want to get back on the ball with that. If you read it and have any suggestions send me a message, i would love input and ideas! Okay so enough with my rambling. Here is Chapter 23. I hope you all enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it. Please remember to Review. The more reviews the faster i get em up. HAHA i love having power!**

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Chapter 23-

"Stay back," Rose screamed standing up. "Stay away from him." Her eyes were black and lost. She didn't recognize us as guardians that were there to help her. All she saw was an enemy trying to hurt her, trying to hurt Mason. I held my hands up to show I was not a threat and took another step forward. Rose raised the sward trying to scare me away. I motioned for everyone to stay put. "Stay back!" she screamed. There was nothing I recognized in her face. My heart sunk into the pits of my stomach. "Rose," I said taking another tentative step forward. "Drop the sward." Rose was visibly shaking now. "Get away from us." She was breathing heavy readying herself for another fight. She would fight until she died in order to protect Mason. I was proud of her for being so strong, but I was scared for her at the same time.

I tried again. "Rose." It worked. She blinked and looked around her for the first time. I could see recognition flash in her eyes. I also saw fear, pain, relief, every emotion I think possible before going back to nothing but agony. Her eyes settled back on mine. She stared deep into my eyes as if they held the answer that she was looking for. I took a deep breath and took another hesitant step forward. "It's okay, every things going to be okay. You can let go of the sward." I spoke my words as gentle as I could not wanting to scare her. I didn't want to put her over the edge.

Her hands were shaking even harder now. She was struggling to hold onto the hilt. "I can't," she said. "I can't leave him alone. I have to protect him."

"You have," I told her. I was now only a few feet from her. I could see her release and the sword fell from her hands and she followed collapsing on all fours. She was breathing hard and I could tell she was trying to block the horror. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her. She wasn't crying, but I knew she would soon. It would hit her and she would grieve harder than she thought possible. I needed to be there for her.

I heard someone clear their throat and I looked up. They wanted to know if it was okay to proceed. I nodded my head and they immediately got to work taking in all the details of the room. I tried to tug Rose up so I could get her away from it. She had seen enough, been through enough. She didn't need to see what happened next, but she refused to budge. She grabbed hold of my shirt. It seemed to be what kept her from going over the edge. Her life support to her sanity and I would never take that away, not as long as she needed it. It would be hers. I kept one arm around her and smoothed her hair back from her face. I whispered in her ear in Russian knowing no one would understand if they were trying to listen. " Я слышу, я никуда не пойду. Я никогда не покину вас. Ты моя любовь, моя жизнь, мое все. Я буду заботиться о тебе навсегда, если вы позволите мне." "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I will never leave you. You are my love, my life, my everything. I will take care of you forever if you will let me". I said it over and over again hoping that she would find comfort in my words even if she couldn't understand what I was saying. At this time, there was nothing in the world except for me and my Roza. Nothing else mattered. I needed her safe. I had to keep her safe.

Rose wouldn't move. She didn't look anywhere but the floor. It was like she had vanished again, leaving in her place Rose zombie. So I kept whispering in her ear.

The world slammed back into place when a couple of guardians came and knelt next to the bodies of the two Strigoi that Rose had killed. "She did that? Both of them?" I felt Rose stiffen. "That sward hasn't been sharpened in years." I heard Rose choke on a sob. She started shaking again. I knew she was losing it. I held her tighter. I didn't even know what I was feeling anymore. I was on automatic drive. I just needed to do what I had to do to make sure Rose would survive this. I needed to make sure she would survive this for me, for us.

Janine walked up to us with relief and pain in her eyes. "Get her out of here Belikov." I nodded up at her and turned back to Rose. I squeezed her shoulder again and gently pulled. "Come on, Roza. It's time to go." This time she slowly Rose to her feet and allowed me to guide her out of the house without a look back. I took her out to the SUV I had driven here and buckled her into the back seat. She leaned her head against the window and just stared out the window, lost. Albert offered to drive us back to the airport so I could sit with her and make sure she was okay. I agreed and slid in next to her not taking my eyes off of her. The entire trip back she didn't move. She just stared out the window at nothing at all. I looked at her reflection in the glass and saw her eyes. They were vacant, void of all emotion. Rose was lost and I didn't know if I would ever get her back. She was what kept me going every day in the hell I called a life. I hated my world. Don't get me wrong, I knew what I did was important, but there was always something missing and Rose filled that. If I lost her, I don't know what I would do. I couldn't imagine existing in a world that Rose wasn't a part of. Even if she was still living and breathing, if she didn't get herself back. The essence that made Rose who she was, this world would be a sad and lonely place.

The car stayed silent the entire ride. Every one of us lost in our own heads. Mine grieving the loss of the Rose I knew and trying accept the fact that I may never get her back. Rose was lost to the darkness of grief and Alberta I'm sure was wondering how everything came to this outcome. I was sure going to have some questions to answer, but right now, there were more pressing matters. It would wait for later.

When we came to a stop I looked up to see that we were at the airstrip. Looking over at Rose I saw she was oblivious to anything. I touched her shoulder. "We're here Rose; it's time for us to get on the plane." She just nodded but didn't really move. I leaned over and unbuckled her seatbelt. When she still didn't move I walked around and opened the door. I helped her out of the car and had to carefully guide her onto the plane and to a seat. I don't think she really saw anything. She just went with the motions. Her eyes were what hurt me the most. Where they were once filled with life and love and happiness and hope and love, now they were filled with loss, grief, pain, anger, and nothing. I would see flashes of all the emotions, but every time it would end back with nothing. I could handle seeing all of the emotions one might feel when such a tragedy occurs, but I couldn't stand the nothingness that had taken up residency in her. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from losing myself. I had to be strong for her.

I sat with her on the plane as we took off. I stared over at her while she just looked at nothing. I don't think she even realized we were on the plane. I needed to get myself together. I as on the verge of losing it. "Roza, I'll be right back. I need to check in with Alberta. Sit tight, I'll be back, I promise." I got up and walked towards the back of the plane. I walked by Mia and Christian when an arm caught my hand. "Does she need anything?" Mia asked. The look on her face told me she was truly thankful for Rose and she was actually concerned. I gave her a sad smile and nodded. "Would you mind taking a blanket up to her?" She nodded, grabbed a blanket and headed to the front of the plane. I watched as she sat next to Rose and then headed back to sit next to Alberta for while. "How is she?" asked Albert. "I truthfully don't know if we will ever get her back," I told her. "She is so lost in herself she doesn't even know what's going on. I know it's the shock, but it's more. I don't know how to explain it. It's like Rose isn't even there anymore. She's just a zombie." I sighed and raked my hands through my hair. Alberta was nodding next to me. "She has been through a lot, especially for being so young, but Rose is strong. She will find her way back to you." It took me a second to realize that she had said "to you" not "to us" or just "find her way back". She said "to you." I looked over at her with a surprised and somewhat shocked look on my face, but she just looked back down at her book. I didn't say anything; I just tried to figure out what she meant. Did she know my feelings for Rose were more than just a student mentor friendship? Was it that obvious? If so, I could be on the verge of losing everything. If it got out my career would be over. Rose's career would be over.

I looked up, horror running through my veins. I would gladly give up this life to have Rose by my side forever, but I knew how much she wanted to be a guardian. She wanted to be Lissa's guardian more than anything. It's the only reason she worked as hard as she did. I couldn't take that away from her. She may think it was a sacrifice she was willing to make right now, but one day, I knew she would resent me for asking her to walk away. I would not do that to her. I would not give her the choice.

My heart was thumping in my chest so hard I thought I would burst out. My head was spinning and I started feeling sick. I got up and walking into the bathroom. Leaning against the sink I started splashing water onto my face. I stayed there trying to calm down until I heard cry that could only be Rose. This was it, the break that I knew was coming. The grief had become too much and she finally broke, letting it all out. I opened the door and headed back to her. She needed me. I needed to be with her to make sure she was okay, but when I got a few rows from her I saw Janine sitting with Rose crying into her chest.

Somehow, I was happy that it was Janine there. She was really the person that Rose needed, but at the same time my heart broke with the realization that Rose really didn't need me. She just needed someone, anyone to hold her and tell her it was okay. I bit my cheek again to keep the pain of that thought from showing. After watching for a few moments I turned and took a seat away from everyone else, but close enough to Rose that I could watch and be there for her even though I wasn't the one holding her. This time, her mom was there and that is who she needed, but next time, she would have me to hold her and tell her it was going to be okay.

I loved Rose so much it hurt and once again I was at a crossroads at what to do with our love. Do I risk her future and mine as guardians to pursue this love? Or do I back away and let her grow into the guardian I knew she would be and risk losing her forever? I leaned my head up against the window and just stared out. I didn't want to think of it just yet. Not with everything the way it was, but soon, I would have to. Soon I would have to go forward with everything or back away forever.


	25. Chapter 25

**So here is Chapter 24. I will warn you now, this is a chapter that includes the funeral of Mason. Keep the tissue handy. I intended to make you all cry. I had a few friends cry when they read it so yeah. I wanted to keep this book going a little longer so this is what you get. **

**My playlist for this was tears in heaven, stairway to heaven and I'll be missing you. So enjoy and review.**

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Chapter 24-

Days past and nothing changed with Rose. She had to stay in the clinic for a few days along with the others involved in the incident. Eventually Eddie came out of his catatonic state of Strigoi bite high and was released. Mia and Christian only had to stay overnight to make sure they got enough blood back in their system and then they were released. Rose, however, just stared at the wall and did nothing. "Just give her time," they all said. "She has been through a lot. Her mind needs time to catch up with the situation." I had a hard time watching her slip further into oblivion. Eddie and Lissa came to visit her daily like it was their new religion. They both were worried that Rose would never make it out of this. I was beginning to wonder if we should start and "I'm worried about Roses sanity" club.

We had been back at the academy for almost a week when Rose had another break. Eddie, Lissa and I had just come in for a visit when she looked over at us tears streaming down her cheeks. It was the first time since we had been back that she looked away from the wall or even showed any emotion. We all jumped out of our seats and ran over to the bed. "Mason is dead," she whispered. Rose cried for hours and we just held her. She needed to let it out. It was part of the healing that she needed. After the tears stopped Lissa crawled in bed next to her and cuddled into her. She stroked her hair and wiped the tears away from her cheeks. "Rose, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I wish I could make this better too. I wish I could use my magic to heal your heart." Rose shook her head. "No Liss, this is what I disserve. It's my fault all of this happened. It's m fault that Mase is dead. I killed him." She turned her head back to the wall and my heart sunk again. I thought we were losing her again. After a few minutes she turned back to me. Her eyes were so full of sorrow and regret. Part of me was happy that she was at least showing some sort of emotion, but the other part of me broke seeing the pain she was in that I knew nobody could take away. "I'm so sorry Dimitri." A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye and I quickly wiped it away. "We don't need to talk about this now. You need to concentrate on getting out of here. I'm sure you would rather be in your own bed right now." She gave me a sad smile and nodded. "I'm going to go get the doc. I'll give you guys some time to talk," I told her heading out the door. Before I stepped out I saw her look over at Eddie. He was so guilt stricken since he came to he was almost unrecognizable. He blamed himself for everything as well. If he had been stronger then maybe Mason would be alive. If he had been a better fighter then maybe they wouldn't have been taken in the first place. If he had just told Mason no, then none of this would have happened. These kids had a long road ahead of them before they would even begin to heal.

As I was walking towards Dr. Olendzki's office I saw Tasha walk in. She gave me a small smile as I walked up to her. "I thought I would find you here," she said. I nodded and gave her a hug. "It's really good to see you," I told her. Tasha sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "How is she?"

"She is actually coming around. She just cried for the last two hours and started talking a little, but she still has a long road ahead of her. I can't stand seeing her like this. She's not my Rose anymore. She's in so much pain and I can't even comfort her."

Tasha sat down next to me. "Dimitri, she just needs time. Luckily she has time. She isn't in the real world yet and she has a lot of love here. She will get over this, eventually."

I nodded and took a deep breath. "Did you want to see her?" Tasha looked at me and nodded. "I do, but I think I will wait till later. I wanted to thank her for protecting Christian and keeping him alive. He told me everything. She is going to be an amazing guardian and she has you to thank for it. I also wanted to thank you for bringing him home safe. I should never have doubted your promise." Tasha looked up into my eyes. They were so sad and I knew I had cause part of that sadness. "Dimitri, just promise me that you will take care of her. I know she will take care of you. I can tell she already is, even if neither of you know it yet." I couldn't say anything. I was so taken back by her words. How is she so damn perceptive? She leaned over and kissed my cheek. "Goodbye Dimitri." Then she left, her words lingering in the air around me. "Goodbye Dimitri." She wasn't going to fight for me. She was letting me go and be happy with the women I loved. I felt like crying. I had never broken a heart before that I was aware of at least. And it felt horrible. Tasha was a wonderful women and I hated that I was doing this to her, but I loved her even more for being such a good friend to just walk away. I watched as she left the building hoping that this wouldn't be the last time I saw her.

I sat in the hall for a few more minutes getting myself back in order. Taking deep breaths and letting my thoughts vanish. It was time to spring Rose from this place and start getting her life back in order. I got up and walked to the Docs office. "Rose is talking," I informed her. Dr. Olendzki looked up from her charts and smiled. "Well then, why don't we go and see how she is doing." I stepped aside letting her out the door. She walked quickly down the hall and paused in front of the door. Looking back at me she gave me a smile. "You have trained her to be strong, but no matter the training she has had, this will probably get worse before it gets better. I just want you to be aware and keep a close eye on her, just in case." I nodded and she opened the door.

Rose, Eddie and Lissa were all cuddled up on the bed crying. I looked over at them and then back to Dr. Olendzki. She smiled and walked over. "Well, Rose. It is good to see you back. Are you ready to get out of here?" Rose looked up and nodded. "Well, I think you are okay to go back to your room and classes can be resumed on Monday, but I don't want you in your combat classes for another couple of weeks. Let's give you a little more time to recover." She smiled down and Rose. "I want to see you back in on Tuesday, but for now why don't you go with your friends. I'm sure you have a lot to talk about." Rose gave a sad smile that broke my heart and sat up.

Eddie and I walked out of the room to give her a little privacy. "Guardian Belikov?" I looked over at a sad Eddie. "I just wanted to say I am sorry, for everything." He looked down at the floor and I could tell he was fighting the tears. "Castile, what happened was no one's fault. Bad choices were made by a lot of people and the end result was unfortunate, but no one is to blame. You are a strong fighter and I know that this will make you even stronger. But you also need to take the time to heal. And healing sometimes requires tears to shed. No one will think you are week for doing so. It takes a strong man to show his emotions." He nodded and looked back up at me. Tears were in his eyes and he was no longer holding them back. "It's not fare. I should have died, not Mase. I should have been stronger. Maybe if I was he would still be here."

"You're right, it's not fare, but if you had died and not Mason, would you have wanted him to wish it was him?" He shook his head. "No, I would have wanted him to go on and be happy again."

"Exactly. So, you need to try and make him happy. Live the way he would have wanted you to. I know it's easier said than done, but one day you will find it's not so hard." Eddie wiped away his tears and nodded again. "Thank you."

"Anytime, I'm always here."

The door to Rose's room opened and she stopped out. I could tell every step she took was hard. She had taken quite a beating and it would take time for her to completely heal, but she was strong and I knew she would, both mentally and physically.

A few days later was Masons Memorial. It was held in the schools chapel and everyone attended. There was not even standing room. Rose, Christian, Mia, Eddie and Masons parents sat in the front row. Rose was holding onto Eddies hand for dear life and her other hand held on to Mrs. Castiles. Mia held onto Christians hand and she linked her arm through eddies free hand. They were each other life line I realized. Without each other they would not really make it through this. I stood next to the wall closest to them so I could keep an eye on them. Today was going to be one of the hardest days and I wanted to be close in case they needed me.

Soon the lights went down and "I'll be missing you" by Puff Daddy and Faith Evens began playing. Pictures of Mason growing up flashed on a screen. From the time he was a baby to just a few days before he died. The last picture was of him and Rose at the ski resort. He was looking over at her with so much love and smiling. She was smiling at the camera and laughing. Both of them were holding onto their skis after their stupid stunt. Rose had tears flowing freely. Her shoulders shook and her head went down. Mia, Christian and Eddie all cried as well. Mrs. Castile stared at her son's pictures and smiled with tears flowing down her face. I looked around the room to see the pain and loss. Mason was one of the most loved novices we had and he would be forever missed by everyone.

The lights came back up and the preacher stepped up to the podium. "I was thinking about what I wanted to say about our dear friend Mason. His life cannot be summed up into just a few words. It is an impossibility. He gave eighteen years of his life to us. Shared his hopes, dreams, laughter and tears and so recently his blood. Mason sacrificed his life to save those he loved. He died with honor and his memory will live on with us. In the wind that blows and the rain that falls, he is there. He will be in the night sky watching over us as we continue on our journey. He will be in our hearts and in our minds. God will protect him now where we could not. He is safe and happy and warm. He wouldn't want us to cry for his loss, but be happy for the life he lived. He would want us to live on and continue on our path choosing the road that fits us best. I would now like to read a poem that I thought fitting

**Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep**

Do not stand at my grave and weep  
I am not there. I do not sleep.  
I am a thousand winds that blow.  
I am the diamond glints on snow.  
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.  
I am the gentle autumn rain.  
When you awaken in the morning's hush  
I am the swift uplifting rush  
of quiet birds in circled flight.  
I am the soft stars that shine at night.  
Do not stand at my grave and cry;  
I am not there, I did not die.

You see, Mason is everywhere. He may be gone in the physical form, but his spirit lived on in each of us."

Soft music started to play again and I realized it was "Stairway to Heaven." The priest walked down and made the sign of the cross put his hand on Mason's picture and stepped aside. Soon the Isle was filled with people going to pay their last respect. Tears flowed from every eye and you could hear the pain screaming out from the hearts of all who loved him. I noticed Rose didn't move. She sat in the pew sobbing softly into her hands. After everyone had said their final goodbyes Rose finally got up and slowly walked towards his picture. She kneeled down in front of it crying louder now. "I'm sorry Mase, I am so sorry. I wish I could go back and make it right. You disserved so much more than this. I am so sorry." A few people stopped to look back at her, but none judged her. All I saw was sadness for her. I walked over to her and kneeled down with her. I didn't say anything; I just wanted her to know I was there. A few moments later Lissa joined me followed by Mia then Eddie then Christian. They all held on to each other and I looked over them wishing I could comfort them. They were such a tight group of friends. After what seemed like hours the tears finally subsided and Rose placed her hand on Mason's picture. "I love you Mase. I won't forget. I promise." With that she got up and walked out of the chapel followed by her friends.

I sat there for a few more minutes thinking about life and how precious it was. How any day any of us could be gone from this world. I looked at the picture of Mason again. He was an amazing person and I knew Rose would keep her promise. She would never forget and she would love him forever as would I. Because of him, my Rose is still on this earth and I would have a second chance, but first I needed to help her heal.


	26. Chapter 26

**WOW! This is it...the last chapter in Frostbite. Kind of sad, but dont fear if you guys are nice and leave me lots of nice reviews i will start on Shadow kiss right away. **

**I want to thank you all for the wonderful reviews of this story! Without you all i would not have continued writing it. You are all amazing! Thank you Thank you Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Now enjoy review and look for Shadow Kiss in Dimitris POV coming soon!**

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Chapter 25-

Rose kept to herself the rest of the weekend. No one bothered her knowing she just needed time. I kept my distance as well even though it was killing me. I just wanted to wrap her into my arms and be there for her. Even if I couldn't fix it all, I just needed her to know I would not leave her until she told me to.

On Monday morning I could tell there was a bit of anticipation from her group of friends. They walked quietly towards the dining area. Everyone was anxious to see if Rose would come out of her room or if we would have to go get her. Lissa pushed the doors open and smiled. Rose was already there sitting at the table. She gave a small smile and nodded to us. She looked over and me and nodded again. I knew what she was saying. She didn't have to speak. She was okay and that was all that mattered. I nodded back at her and headed to the guardian area.

"Looks like she is starting to come around," Alberta said as I sat down next to her. "I think she will pull through, but I also know Rose she will cover up her pain as much as possible. Might be wise for us to just watch her for a while," I told her taking a bite of my eggs. She nodded and smiled. "She is going to be one of the best. I can see it. You have done a fine job with her. You should be proud." I didn't look at her I just nodded. "I need to see you in my office so we can go over the ceremony," she said looking over at me. She then placed her hand on mine and gave me a small smile. "She is going to be okay. You just need to give her time. She is already making her way to back to you." I looked up at her. "I know, and I'll meet you in an hour," I said making my way out of there. I needed air.

"Dimitri," I heard from behind me. My heart stopped. I wasn't ready to talk just yet. "Hey, Comrade, slow down," Rose yelled from behind me. I stopped and turned. "Rose, you should not be running," I scolded her. "And you think just because some doctor told me not to do something that is going to stop me. Come on Comrade you know me better than that." I sighed. "You are impossible Rose." She gave a smile and looked directly into my eyes. I could feel the warmth radiating into me. "How are you?" I asked. She shrugged like it was not a big deal. "I'm okay. I'm ready to move on with my life. I need to move on. And that my dear mentor is where you come in." I raised an eyebrow and looked down at her. "Oh and how do I fit into this?" She raked her hand through her hair and let out a sigh. "I know I am not supposed to be training, but I need to. It's what keeps me alive and away from the darkness that keeps trying to pull me under. I need to do something. Please Dimitri, I need your help." She was practically begging.

I shook my head. "Rose that is not going to happen. Your body is not ready for that yet and if you push it you are just going to hurt yourself even more and then it will take longer for you to get back into it." She nodded in defeat. She knew I would not budge on something that might be harmful to her. "I just need something, to keep my mind occupied." I looked at her with and small smile playing at my lips. "How about you spend all the extra time you are going to have over the next few weeks studying." Rose rolled her eyes. "Overrated comrade, overrated." She turned and walked back towards the dining hall where her friends were waiting with smiles on their faces.

Over the next few weeks I noticed that Rose and Eddie had become a lot closer. It was inevitable. After going through what they had and losing someone they both cared deeply about, they had to hold onto something and that was each other. Things started to get back to normal for Rose. Well, as normal as things ever could be for her. I could tell that she was holding back a lot of the pain and when she didn't know I was looking I could see her remembering Mason. The pain and sadness would show in her features, but as quickly as they had come they were gone.

The day of her molnija ceremony I was nervous for her. She would have two marks that would be her forever reminder of how things ended. Her permanent reminder that she had lost someone she cared deeply about. I knew today was going to be hard. Getting molnija marks were not something to be excited or happy about. It was not a joyful time, but a time to reflect on a life that once was. A life that at one time had love and hope and meaning that turned into something evil and soulless. A life that the person getting the mark had had to take out of this world. No matter how evil that person had become when turned into a Strigoi, it was still at one time a person, Dhampir or Moroi and it was still a life taken.

The ceremony was to take place in the banquet hall in the guardians building. I had shown up early to help set up and make sure everything was ready. After a while all the guardians on campus began to arrive. No novices would attend. Everyone milled around but no one talked. Rose walked in and found Albert who ushered her to the front where a stool was sitting in a corner. No words were spoken but everyone filed into ranks. Everyone had regret in their eyes, memories, sadness, hope, and sorrow. No one wanted to watch a novice get their first mark. It only meant that they had to grow up sooner than had been planned.

As Rose took her seat my heart was pounding. I was filled with so many emotions. Pain, sadness, confusion, pride, love, hope, and need. I watched as a few words were spoken between Lionel, Janine and Alberta. Finally Rose pulled her hair over her face and her first marks were placed at the back of her neck. Memories flashed to my first kill and I realized I was not the only one. I looked around to see the vacant stares as memories played through all the guardians' minds. It was always a somber time, but that is why we had these ceremonies. So we would never forget. It was a time to remember why we did what we did to reflect on those who have been lost and hope that we would be strong enough when the time came to do what we needed to do, no matter what.

When the tattoos were done Lionel talked to Rose for a few moments nodded and walked away. Next each guardian went go up and give Rose some sign of affection. Today the affection was flowing strong. She got hugs and kisses on the cheek and handshakes. "Now you're one of us," Stan said. Considering their delicate relationship, that was like Stan kissing her on the mouth. When it was my time I had no words to tell her. I hoped that my look would be enough. I placed my hand on her cheek for a few moments and nodded. I was so full of pride for her walking away from Spokane with only minor injuries if you don't include emotional into that. Rose swallowed back some tears and nodded back. I walked away from her knowing that she would never really be the same. She had grown up before her time. It was sad, but at the same time it was a good thing. She wouldn't be under the delusion that what we did was for the glory, but for the need. She had finally learned that these marks are not badges of honor, but reminders.

Once everyone had made it through the line I could see Rose turning into a Rose zombie again. She just went with it. My heart sunk and I couldn't see her like that again so I slipped out of the room and inhaled a deep breath of crisp morning air. It always helped clear my mind. I slowly walked back to my room hoping that tomorrow would bring a better day.

Over the next week I didn't see much of Rose. She seemed to be trying to get things back in order and I was glad for that. I even started to see her smile a little. She, Lissa, Christian and Eddie were inseparable. If Mia had still been around I think she would have fit right in with the group as well, but soon after they got back she left the academy to go and live with her father at the royal court. I knew that the others missed her. It was funny that once enemies were now each other's comfort. Eddie was even coming around. He seemed to have taken on the protector role for Rose. He kept the boys at bay which I must say I am quite thankful for. I knew they were far from perfect, but they were on the right road.

The Monday after Roses' molnija ceremony she was cleared to start training again. I walked over to the gym and made myself comfortable in the supply room with one of my western novels that Rose like to tease me about. I looked up as she walked in. "I thought you might come by," I said marking my place in the book and setting it aside. "It's time for practice," she said a little confused look on her face. "No, no practice today. You still need to recover."

I've got a clean bill of health. I'm good to go," she said. I knew she wouldn't like it, but I needed her to start the recovery of the heart. She may have had a clean bill of health from the doctor, but I knew it would take time for the heart and today, I was going to be here for her. We were finally going to talk.

"Sit down Rose," I said pointing towards a chair in front of me. She hesitated for a moment before complying. I scooted my chair closer to her so I could see her eyes perfectly. "No one gets over their first kill… kills…easily. Even with Strigoi…well, it's still technically taking a life. That's hard to come to terms with. And after everything else you went through…" I sighed then reached out and grabbed her hand in mine. "When I saw your face…when we found you in that house…you can't imagine how I felt." Here we go. I am going to just lay it all out on the table. She needs to hear it. I need her to hear it. She will make the decisions for herself from now on. I knew she was capable of making them without any help from anyone.

I watched as she swallowed and looked away. "How…how did you feel?"

"Devastated…grief stricken. You were alive, but the way you looked…I didn't think you'd ever recover. And it tore me apart to think of that happening to you so young." I squeezed her hand trying to fight off the emotions that were trying to break through. "You will recover- I know that now, and I'm glad. But you aren't there yet. Losing someone you care about is never easy."

Rose dropped her eyes again. "It's my fault," she said in a small broken voice.

"Hmm?"

"Mason. Getting killed."

My heart wrenched as she said this. I had hoped that she had gotten past the blame she had put on herself. I should have known better, but I had truly hoped for it. "Oh, Rose. No. You made some bad decisions…you should have told others when you knew he was gone…but you can't blame yourself. You didn't kill him."

Tears were pooling in her eyes when she looked back up to me. "I might as well have. The whole reason he went there-it was my fault. We had a fight…and I told him about the Spokane thing, even though you asked me not to…" A tear escaped her eye and I leaned forward to wipe it away. Touching her again sent a chill through my body. A need to protect her and keep her safe. "You can't blame yourself for that," I told her... "You can regret your decisions and wish you'd done things differently, but in the end, Mason made his decisions too. That was what he chose to do. It was his decision in the end, no matter your original role." I could see Rose going back to that day in Spokane. Remember the moment Mason died.

"I just wish I'd been able to …I don't know, do anything…" She swallowed back more tears and pulled her hand from mine and stood up. "I should go. Let me know when you want to start practice again. And thanks for…talking." She turned to leave and I began to panic. I could lose her forever. "No," I said. I had to tell her about Tasha. It was time to tell her how I felt before I lost her again. This was the chance I needed. I was not going to wait it again.

She glanced back at me. "What?"

I held her eyes with mine I wouldn't look away from her. "No," I repeated. "I told her no. Tasha." Rose was at a loss for words. "I…" She shut her mouth again truly confused. "But…why? That was a once in a lifetime thing. You could have had a baby. And she…she was, you know, into you…" I couldn't help a hint of a smile. "Yes, she was. Is. And that's why I had to say no. I couldn't return that…couldn't give her what she wanted. Not when…" I took a few steps towards her. "Not when my heart is somewhere else." Rose almost started crying again. "But you seemed so into her. And you kept going on about how young I acted."

"You act young, because you are young. But you know things, Roza. Things people older than you don't even know. That day…" I looked at her to see if she knew what I was speaking of. The look on her face told me she did so I continued. "You were right, about how I fight to stay in control. No one else has ever figured that out and it scared me. You scare me."

"Why don't you want anyone to know?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Whether they know that fact or not doesn't matter. What matters that is that someone- that you- know me that well. When a person can see into your soul, it's hard. It forces you to be open. Vulnerable. It's much easier being with someone who's just more of a casual friend."

"Like Tasha," Rose said finally putting the pieces together. I nodded. "Tasha Ozera is an amazing woman. She's beautiful and she's brave. But she doesn't-"

"She doesn't get you," Rose finished. It still amazed me that she could do that. I should know better by now, but it still did.

I nodded. "I knew that. But I still wanted the relationship. I knew it would be easy and that she could take me away from you. I thought she could make me forget you." I tried not to let on the guilt that I now felt from thinking that way show. Rose looked up at me with something in her expression that I just couldn't quite figure out. "But she couldn't," Rose said. I could tell she was thinking about Mason again.

"Yes. And, so…that's a problem."

"Because it's wrong for us to be together," Rose said.

"Yes."

"Because of the age difference."

"Yes."

"But more importantly because we're going to be Lassa's guardians and need to focus on her-not each other."

"Yes."

Rose was quiet for a moment. I had basically told her that I was in love with her and she had come up with every reason we shouldn't be together. My heart began to sink thinking it was too late. That I had lost my chance with her. I stood there looking at her waiting for what she would say next.

She finally looked up into my eyes. "Well," she said. "The way I see it, we aren't Lissa's guardians yet."

It took me a moment to realize what she had said. I just stared at her letting it sink in. She was saying yes. She loved me too and she wanted to try. I finally made my legs move and pulled her into me kissing her. At first I just brushed my lips against her hoping she wouldn't push me away. When she didn't I deepened the kiss showing her as much love and passion as I could. The world span and my heart picked itself up from the pits of my stomach and soured. I felt like I was flying with happiness. I don't know how long we stood there kissing. Showing each other just how we felt without having to say the words. I loved her and she loved me and that was all that mattered.

When I finally broke the kiss I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face. I kissed her forehead and rested my lips there for a few moments before pulling away. I stepped back towards the door and turned to her. "I'll see you later, Roza."

"At our next practice?" She asked eagerly. "We are starting those up again, right? I mean, you still have things to teach me."

I stood in the doorway smiling. "Yes. Lots of things."


End file.
